I don't believe in "best" friends.It's kinda like when you like a whole bunch of songs and can't decide which one is your favorite.Instead of having one best friend,make all your "friends" best friends.Also,you were right,Everlasting Sapphire.I have a new boyfriend and he's more than that other guy will ever be.

Here's what I would do if you want for her to be your friend again. Be polite and courteous and kind to her; don't say anything mean, 'cause that won't win you any brownie points with her. Take your time to rebuild your friendship with her. Don't immediately go begging her to please be friends again; that may end up sounding incredibly childish. That's all I can think of to say.



Congratulations!!!! I'm happy to hear the news~!

Pardon my english.

ok, so about febuary in my county theyres a all county concert, all the school orchestras come together and play music. old girl thats a friend shows up, and we decide to go out. evrything goes prety fast, and i come to find out i realy like her. she breaks up w/me. seems like a silly question, but i dont know why, but i seem to have really underwelming emotions. it`s useful when undergoing hard physical stress like conditioning training, or when theyres a realy sadining moment like someone hates you and you thought they liked you, but, it`s bad when youve never felt something like the gentle maricle of being alive, or... love. i dont know, first time iv`e spoken up about it. call me a freak, wierdo, dumb@$$,i dont care. i can handle it. i just want to know. PM. please.

I have given up on life.I'm going to crawl into a ditch and just die.Maybe some merciful person will put me out of my misery...

I have been hurt too many times...When I started this thread,I still had a few patches of fabric and thread left of my heart.Now...there's nothing left...I'm just a shell of a person...and it's just not worth it...

I believe in God,but I can't help but wonder..."Why? Why did you create someone whose only purpose is to hurt? Why do you let mankind tear me to pieces? Why do you taunt me with a taste of wonderful life,only to snatch it away the next second? Why do you push me to the point that I would gladly lay down and die? Why,God,why?"

It's fine, you shouldn't give up live, no matter what happened. No matter who you are, there's still someone who care about other, and they could care about you too. I do, have been depressed so many times, but don't give up. No matter how many bad things happened to you, there's still some good things that has to be happened to you, you still have your life, and that's pretty good.

Well, if you're depressed, i guess you should do something that can make your happy, like listening to uplifting music, and so on.

you know, you can't just get depressed every time a boy breaks up with you (i'm gonna assume that's what happened). you win some, you lose some; but the point is to have yourself a nice little cry, then pick your life up and move on. if your husband was cheating on you, or wanted a divorce, i'd understand more; but you're just in high school. cheer up; things will get better. count on it.

Well,first of all,it wasn't a boy.A boy made it worse,but he didn't start it.

I was feeling really depressed,so I texted my friends.None answered back.I didn't want to text this guy (he's the guy I mentioned earlier,and I still like him) but nobody else answered.I didn't think he would text back,but he did.

For some reason or other,I ended up telling him that I still loved him.He didn't text back.I had warned him that what I was saying would make him mad...

I wish there was one person in this world who would love me and just let me be me...

Well, it is bad. But one of the things that could heal it was friends, true friends. There's a lot of people in this world, and you can make friends with many other people. And the way to obtain true friends was by helping each other, asking for help if you need it, and be friendly to other people.

*sigh* Well,I won't make any promises,but I'll try to follow all the advice you guys have given me.I don't have internet during the week yet,only on weekends,but I'll post again next week.Maybe I won't be so depressed then.

See ya.

Yes,I know,I'm probably being a "necromancer" right now.But I personally belive that a topic like this should never go out of date.I hope those who want to report me for necromancy can find it in their hearts to spare me this once.

Half the reason I haven't been online is that my dad died.Some idiot ran into his motorcycle and he fell off the overpass.It's been over a month,but I still feel off.I got into several fights in a matter of weeks.The only reason I'm not suspended or expelled is that the counselor knows what's going on.Sometimes I just want to kill somebody,even myself.Other times I just want to sit and cry for hours.I never let any of it out.I barely even cried at his funeral.

I find it hard to do anything these days.I can't concentrate or take pleasure in anything;I can't even play my sax and feel good.I get riled up very easily and snap or lash out at people.In all the fights,I never realized the other person had hurt me until the next day when a bruise or cut mysteriously appeared.I didn't feel any pain during the fight.

The extent of my pain is revealed in this poem I wrote:

Outcast
Love
It's all over the place
I can see it
I can hear it
But I can't feel it

Compassion
It seems to be shown to everyone
But not to me
Kindness

It is exuded from everyone
I can see that
It warms the hearts of others
Yet my heart remains icy
Many are excluded because they are unpopular
Stupid
Ugly
Wierd
Different

These things can be overcome with time
Alas
After years of abuse and pain
I feel nothing
Where my heart should be
Is a hole

I began as everyone else did
Heart of pure gold
Others began to hack away at it
Tear it to pieces
I resisted,stripping the gold
Exchanging it for steel
When the steel corroded
I replaced it with ice

Now that the ice has melted
There is nothing left

These things that other enjoy
I feel not
I see it all around me
But love
Kindness
Compassion
Ignore me
Turn away
Exclude me from their warmth

I wish for peace
Love
Compassion
Kindness
But I find none

I hide from the harsh world
Closing myself in behind my mind
Drifting slowly away from reality
Trying desperately to protect
My final shred of dignity
Sanity
Hope

I don't seem cold
I joke
Laugh
Tease
Act like any other normal teenager
But everyone noticed my change
My shortened temper
My lowered tolerance
My heightened emotional tendencies
Brought about by losing loved ones

I long to scream
Cry
Fight
Release these emotions
Bottled up inside

What little does escape
Is violent
Hurtful
I find it hard to control
My anger
My sorrow

Instinct tells me to take my emotion out on others
Friends
Enemies
Neutral people
Anyone around me

When I fight in uncontrollable rage
I feel nothing from my opponent
Not a punch
Not a kick
Not a scrape
Not a bruise
Nothing

And that scares me

I find myself wishing it did hurt
Pain would at least remind me that I'm human
Normal
Alive
But no pain comes

Perhaps it is this desire to feel something
Anything at all
That drives me to fighting
Crying
Hurting myself and others

I wish that love
Kindness
Compassion
Would stop with the cold shoulder
I've suffered enough
I'm tired of hurting without pain
I'm sick of the knife in my chest
I'm tired of being alone
Forgotten
Left behind
Unloved
Unwanted
Outcast

I need help.I know it and so does everyone else.My science teacher (Ex-Army) gave me a serenity prayer,but it's not helping.I don't know what to do anymore.Help me if you can.

Kelsie (Imma call you that for simplicity, mkay?), I really wish I could help you. make a new friend, etc. I don't know the kind of pain that you're going through, and i won't pretend to. But I do know this. Sometimes life sucks. It does, really, but that is not a proper reason to get sad about it. Look at me, I was feeling really crappy on my walk home from school today, my science class has a few morons whom ruin the class for the "good" students, I had a crap-ton of chores to do, and after I got home, I accidentally broke a window. I've been told that I'm lucky yo be alive, with only a minor cut to the bottom of my palm. But things WILL get better. It doesn't seem like it, but it will.

I know things will improve. If we knew each other IRL, I would text you for sure if I was awake at the time of the text was recieved.

And you aren't necromancing. Frost has gone over a few times, but necromancing is when you bring back a very old thread and go off-topic. You went right on track and the post before yours is only a month or so old.

Life sucks,I know.
My new English teacher agrees;I apparently said some things in an essay that made her consider referring me to the counselor.I told her,"Good luck making me actually see the d*** counselor!"

Ironic.Aren't Catholics supposed to NOT curse?

Anyway,things aren't getting much better.I punched several holes in the sheetrock between my room and my little sister's old room.Bad news:Papaw grounded me from calling my boyfriend for a month.Good news:that wall is coming down to give me more space.

Also,on two completely separate notes,I have changed my name to Charlie,and I'm really sore so sorry about any typos.Why am I sore? Let's just say...it's more fun playing Toss the Midget when you're NOT the midget.

I'm not really sad, or in need of support but I just want to share. Today, I got news of my good news being in the hospital after attempted suicide. Thing is I have no empathy or sympathy for him, and if I did I wouldn't give it to him. I understand he's depressed but when he first started cutting I tried to be empathetic (because of how many times I've dealt with this situation myself, and helping others) but he just ignored me, and then fought me. I let him cool off and approached him again when he showed me in person and I was pissed beyond belief. He ignored my help before, so I was harsh and told it to him straight. I was an ass because I cared. I came home to find on Facebook he had tagged me in the suicide note he wrote. Not only did this bring me down and anger me because it's a suicide note, but the fact he posted it for all the people friends with him on Facebook to see. Not okay with me. I don't plan to be an ass when he's back (which will probably be a while since he has to go to a mental hospital, well fairly sure he does, if he doesn't I'll be surprised) but I refuse to help him. If he comes to me with problems he knows how i'll be.

Also, this is really selfish and I haven't really said this to anyone and hopefully you guys won't get pissed because of it, but I almost felt kind of mad because I wasn't mentioned in his note. How much I tried to reach out to him when I still had sympathy for him.

NEVERMIND, disregard half this post because I just learned that him being in the hospital was a rumor and whoever started it needs to **** die.

What did you say in the essay that made her refer you?

Supposed to. I know some that do (or did) every now and again. It's perfectly acceptable.

Well, at least you can see him in public (unless it's a long distance relationship, in which case, to be blunt, you're screwed). It great that the wall is coming down, more room to just... Be.

What do you mean you changed your name to Charlie? I'm so confused...

Ah Charlie ... good name. I dated a girl named Charlie (Charlene actually, but she went by Charlie). Met her in a tobacconist shop in Virginia Beach when I was stationed down there - we were buying the same brand of cigars! LOL

I haven't been around on the 'net (and hence Psypoke) for a while for my own hard times. I also lost my dad in October. Wife has been sick off and on for much of the year too.

But, unfortunately, my time is a bit short for today at work. I will be posting a little more later. Charlie, I'll try to catch up with you on Myspace later too. Hugs. Try not to hurt too many people in your anger.

My advice: Life is just one damned thing after another. There's no way to avoid it, so live with it. Have a nice day, everyone.

So very true, Steel, sooo very true.

You kind of forgot the part where there are actually good parts to life. I'd say that if life knocks you down, the best thing to do is just try to get back up again. A little grief is a good thing; but there's a point where you need to realize that the pain shouldn't last forever.

Well, there are always good things in life and bad things in life, and both usually occur at the same time.

Maybe...
I got a laptop as an early christmas present,so I'm posting this from it...plus I just downloaded the entire collection of Metallica,so I'm just sorta livin' in the moment right now.

Good and bad are indeed mixed...mixed like the ethnicities of America...the bad times are just more obvious than the good ones...

Alright,I'm going to my happy place for a Metallica marathon...see y'all...probably later tonight...or whenever...*yawn*