Wow that was great too, easily said because of the great detail of the battle, as well as other interesting details within violet.
A few unclear thigs that could use some clearing up... How did the car's tire suddenly deflate and how would Jay's soda flip out and hit Max in the head?

Also, as for not deciding to put long chapters in.... that was actually pretty long compared to other fan fics and should be a chapter in itself.. good stuff

Oh and the protangonists lost... Just Like I wanted to see in your story

Theyve got themselves in a bit of a pickle now, interesting stuff is coming up, I cant wait... I also hope you write about the contest....

I can't really figure out anything wrong.

Very good! I think i have said this before to you birdknight but you can't have enough very good's!

I don't always use the rating system, I don't know why you have a problem with it, don't other people use the rating system here?

You really excelled in flowing the details together this part, but the details them self where a bit sketchy. Such as how Jay and Trixie got out of the fast-food restaurant. You have a good storyline with this part, but I think you could have put a little more in the ending of it. I also didn't like this one as much because Trixie didn't slap anybody . Overall, great but not your best.

Nice

I like this one. It doesn't bite as much as most of the stories in this forum.

i felt hooked like a mule to the job: wants to stop, but couldnt. i wanted to see if it got any better. the only interesting thing: the profiles. hmm... i think ill use the profiles for mine....