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~~read the adventures of the munchlax!!~~
http://forums.psypokes.com/forums/viewtopic.php?f=21&t=10039		 Page 1 of 1
Author:  pokemon master mike [ Wed Aug 16, 2006 5:48 pm ]
Post subject:  ~~read the adventures of the munchlax!!~~
ChApTeR 1!

ugghuu! what is happening a feel like somthing happened to me and i feel 3 feet smaller!! ahh!! *looks in mirror* im a munchlax! omigosh! well better make the best of this. you head outside and start looking around the new world as a pokemon when suddenly you see a fellow pokemon its a zigzagoon! with some babys!, awwww you say in the pokelanguage or whatever then you see the zigzagoon has a mad face on and it starts to run at you then you start to run you go into a house, what?! it seems to be the house of a pokemon trainer by the looks of it seems to be a guy named ash ketchup??!! no no read wrong it is ash ketchum! the famous trainer you heard about when you were a human! then ash comes into the room and sees you. ash: ahh a munchlax, hmm maybe i should catch it ,hehe . you get the feeling you should.......RUN!!! *starts to run* you say somthing in pokelanguage but ash doesnt understand. you are in a corner and you are trapped with no way out!

what should you do??

kick ash where the sun dont shine,
or write a note to ash saying you are a human that got transformed into a pokemon

post what you think you think munchlax should do and the more of one thing people vote on will be continued in the next chapter!
[/u]
Author:  mudkipman [ Wed Aug 23, 2006 6:35 pm ]
Post subject: 
Well, I think it has potential, but there are some thigns that could be improved.

Your story is kind of like this. Aaaaargh? where are my pancakes? I really want those pancakes!*looks around kitchen trying to find pancakes. Oh here they are! ill eat them now. *eats pancakes*

When it cuold be like this:

"Aaaaaaaaaargh? Where did I leave my pancakes? I really want those pancakes!" I cried in dismay.

I began to look around the kitchen frantically until I found my pancakes.

'Woot! I found my pancakes!" you said joyfully. "I'll eat them now."

Or what ever person you want it to be in.

And don't take this like I am saying your story is awfull, my stories aren't that good either, so this is just a suggestion, it is a pretty cool story, I think that most people would like if you used proper grammar etc.
Author:  lapras [ Wed Aug 23, 2006 8:36 pm ]
Post subject: 
mudkipman wrote:
Well, I think it has potential, but there are some thigns that could be improved.

Your story is kind of like this. Aaaaargh? where are my pancakes? I really want those pancakes!*looks around kitchen trying to find pancakes. Oh here they are! ill eat them now. *eats pancakes*

When it cuold be like this:

"Aaaaaaaaaargh? Where did I leave my pancakes? I really want those pancakes!" I cried in dismay.

I began to look around the kitchen frantically until I found my pancakes.

'Woot! I found my pancakes!" you said joyfully. "I'll eat them now."

Or what ever person you want it to be in.

And don't take this like I am saying your story is awfull, my stories aren't that good either, so this is just a suggestion, it is a pretty cool story, I think that most people would like if you used proper grammar etc.

Yup, that's true. I think you also need a little better grammar, so that it's more spaced out. It's easier to read, and people like it, so they read it.
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