OMG that is good and im guessing that rilou is lukario when he was still a rioru? anyway sorry for spoiling it if i was correct.
but pretty good
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| Lucario's Training http://forums.psypokes.com/forums/viewtopic.php?f=21&t=13419 |
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| Author: | TheKyogreKing [ Thu Mar 22, 2007 8:52 am ] |
| Post subject: | Lucario's Training |
Hi! This is my first Fan Fic (on Psypokes), but I'm not new to writing stories, so I hope this isn't bad, it'll ruin my reputation! I'll write a new chapter every few days or so, if I have the time. Anyway, the story is about when Sir Aaron was training Lucario, what happened before the 8th movie, Lucario and the Mystery of Mew! ---Chapter 1, Desert Hardships--- The raging sandstorm bellowed overhead, as the lone pokemon valiantly trudged through the scorching heat. Moaning, he came to a halt. For 3 days he had travelled through the endless wastelands. For 3 days, non-stop! There was no shelter for spending the night in, no protection from the apocalypse he was walking through. So much for a so-called 'paradise'. He should never have trusted a Misdreavous. He would never trust any ghost pokemon again, if he even survived. Surveying his surrondings, he noticed the same vast, barren landscape of the last 3 days. There was nothing there, not even desert dwelling pokemon dared to live here. He had been continuing on the hope of finding something for the past days, but now there was no hope, he had no chance of ever living a normal life again, he collapsed in the sand. "Arg..." moaned the luck-less creature. He would go to sleep now, and never wake up, he decided. He prepared himself for the endless slumber... But wait! Was that a figure he saw, shrouded in sand, but getting closer? Closer... Closer... Closer... Hope you like! Please post comments! |
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| Author: | Shiny Latios [ Thu Mar 22, 2007 8:59 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
Ohh! Very pwetty! |
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| Author: | TheKyogreKing [ Thu Mar 22, 2007 9:11 am ] |
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Shiny Latios wrote: Ohh! Very pwetty! How can it be 'pwetty'! We have a pokemon dying in the desert here! Anyway, I'll write the 2nd chapter tommorrow, I have the time. |
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| Author: | Crimson [ Thu Mar 22, 2007 10:00 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
Pretty good, I can't wait to see where this is going. It was a great introduction to the protagonist. And by 'pretty' I'm pretty sure Shiny was saying he thought your story was well written and that he liked it a lot. |
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| Author: | TheKyogreKing [ Fri Mar 23, 2007 12:50 am ] |
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---Chapter 2, The Guardian of Aura--- The shrouded shape was coming ever closer. "Show yourself! Or feel my wrath!", the Pokemon threatened, but it was a dry threat, he was in no condition to threaten anyone. The figure halted, and appeared to talk to another figure that had just materialised beside it. The Pokemon turned away. I they were the guardians of heaven, he should welcome them. But wait! There were shapes all around him! This is it, he thought, I'm going mad... He awoke on a soft matress, a bed even! Light filtered in through open windows, and he thought he saw a pink shape with a long tail hovering in the doorway. I've lost it, he said to himself. I'm totally mad. The pink creature vanished, as a human walked through the door. "Good. You're awake." it announced. "We... We found you in the desert, and brought you to our kingdom. I am Sir Aaron, Guardian of Aura, and this is your new home..." This place... Have I been here before? Yes... I remember... The Kingdom... The castle... The Pokemon... Yes... What was its name? M... Me... Mew... |
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| Author: | mooxy [ Fri Mar 23, 2007 12:28 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
Great story! Keep writing it! I want to see what happens next! |
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| Author: | TheKyogreKing [ Fri Mar 23, 2007 11:04 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
---Chapter 3, A New Home--- "And here are the kitchens..." The Pokemon wasn't paying attention. The mischeivous pink shape was teasing him again. It obviously didn't want him to know his way around the castle. That, or it had had a few to many Extra High Cafine Cokes. "Are you even paying attention?" asked his guide, Sir Aarons assistant, drawing his attention back to the tour. In reallitiy, Riolu, thats what they had named it, wasn't paying attention. This particular pink puffball was far more interesting than a long, boring tour. Still, I should learn my way around, he thought to himself. "And these are the dormitories... Riolu? What are you looking at? Oh... That is the Tree of Beginning. If your lucky, My master may take you there some day..." The Tree of Beginning... It sounds so familiar... But it can't be... I've never been here before... Only in my dreams... |
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| Author: | Shiny Latios [ Tue Mar 27, 2007 7:37 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
Vee-hoo! I voted the 'what! It was written by a monkey!' thing, but that is because you're in my class. |
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| Author: | TheKyogreKing [ Thu Mar 29, 2007 7:52 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
You forgot something, Shiny Latios, jiberish always ends in a question mark. ---Chapter 4, Training in the Tree--- Dodge! Low Kick! Protect! Metal Claw! Detect! Psybeam!!! All these thoughts raced through Riolu's mind as he confronted the Aerodactyl. 2 years had passed since he had passed out in the desert. The assistant was right, Sir Aaron had taken him to the Tree of Beginning. That was where he was now, confronting the ancient Pokemon in a friendly training duel. Side stepping the Aerodactyl's Aerial Ace with lightning speed, he charged the Pokemon with a full on Psybeam, defeating it where it stood. "You learn quickly, Riolu! Defeating a fully grown Aerodactyl only 2 years into your training!" Complimented Sir Aaron, with a frienly grin on his face. Thank you Master Riolu replied with telepathy. The ponderous pink puffball, also known as Mew, watched from the shadows, giggling as usual. It was unknown to Sir Aaron, but Riolu's sharp hearing picked up the high pitched sound. Great, Puffball is back, he thought. Comments please! Your probably wondering how he dodged Aerial Ace. Well... I don't know... |
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| Author: | xchaos [ Tue Apr 03, 2007 1:15 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
OMG that is good and im guessing that rilou is lukario when he was still a rioru? anyway sorry for spoiling it if i was correct. but pretty good
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| Author: | TheKyogreKing [ Tue Apr 03, 2007 1:33 am ] |
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xchaos wrote: OMG that is good and im guessing that rilou is lukario when he was still a rioru? anyway sorry for spoiling it if i was correct. but pretty goodRiolu is Rioru's english name, so yes. The next chapter will come soon, with doublt the exitement! Edit: Here it is! WARNING: It's longer than the other chapters! ---Chapter 5, Home of a Puffball--- I will endure this humiliation no more! Riolu cried telepathically as it pounced into the shadows where Mew was watching. "Meeeeeeeeeeeeeew!" screeched the startled puffball as it retreated in to a secret passage way, completely disappearing from sight. But Riolu would not be stopped so easily... Aura is with me! although not yet fully trained, Riolu picked up a faint reading of Mew's aura, and leaped into the carefully hidden hole to pursue. "Riolu, wait!" Aaron cries did not even reach the Ripple pokemon, as it had zoomed down the tunnel with an Extremespeed move. Emerging from the tunnel, Riolu gasped at the hundred foot drop below. He was balanced on a thin crystal structure over the pit, and one wrong move would be fatal. On the far side of the fissure, Mew poked his head from yet another concealed passage, before turning tails and fleeing. Riolu stepped out onto the crystal bridge, only to feel it crumble beneath his feet... Mustering all his strengh, the Ripple pokemon leapt from the crippled structure, landing in a heap on the other side. "Me Me Me Meeeew!" giggled Mew from an opening at the end of he tunnel. Curse you, puffball! snarled Riolu, jumping towards it. The puffball zoomed away, but not before Riolu caught hold of its tail. Got you now! taunted the Ripple, but Mew launched him with a quick sharp Psybeam into a pile of sharp wooden toys. So this is where you live, puffball... |
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| Author: | xchaos [ Thu Apr 05, 2007 8:31 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
why is rioru attacking mew ? and another thing can you make the chapters a little loinger so it takes more time rading and it kinda adds suspence |
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| Author: | Crimson [ Thu Apr 05, 2007 9:20 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
Not bad, I'd like a bit more description. The tree is obviously significant to the kingdom, you should describe it. |
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