This is a story I am writing about the storyline of Pokemon Colluseum and XD: Gale of Darkness. this also intervines with Jimmy from Pokemon Chronicles,The legend of thunder.To give it a rating i say K 5+.

Jimmy was in the heat fo an intense battle. he was in the silver conference in Johto.
"Go Beedrill" he shouted as he whirled his poke ball into the field.Beedrill appeared on the field with his wings flapping at an extereme pace.
"Tropius, crush that little termite usebody slam!" Tropius dived forward leaping over the little bee ready to win and claim its prize.
"Beedrill forward then twineedle"Jimmy shouted desperate to win. beedrill flew forward under the large creature that nearly smashed him.Beedrill rose and swerved around jabbing the beast with its stinger.
"Now for the second" Jimmy remarked ,he was so riled up he was ready to go out and battle too. Tropius roared in anger as his trainer ordered a Razor Leaf. Beedrill darted around Tropius' legs until the dangerous leaves were gone Beedrill rose from beneath.
"Poison Jab, finish this Beedrill." Beedrill nailed Tropius on the side of the head. Tropius fell to the ground from the fatal attack.
"Tropius is unable to battle, Jimmy from NewBark Town wins!"
"Yeah, you rock, you rule!" Jimmy shouted congratulating his now very exhausted pokemon after such a long battle
"We'll go all the way."

Yeah, its kind of a short first chapter.

Jimmy was sleeping in his cabin just outside the stadium when he heard something outside. As he was putting his shoes on to go investigate he heard a loud roar.
'Typhlosion?" he shouted remembering his best friends roar. He ran outside and saw his Machamp punch Typhosion in the stomach.
"Whats going on?" Jimmy said in disbelief. Jimmy quickly got out
Machamp's pokeball.
"Return!" Jimmy shouted as the beam flashed forward. Machamp jumped and ran into the brush, and then it was gone. The next morning Jimmy went out to his next match he was facing a big man who didnt even talk or open his eyes when he threw his ball in it was Jimmy's own Machamp
"Is that you Machamp?" Jimmy said in wonder.
"Go typhlosion" Jimmy said in a still mesmerized voice.
"Begin" The judge shouted having no clue what was actually happening. Machamp quickly bolted around the side of the ring and gave Typhlosion a massive Mach Punch then with out hesitation a Mega Kick. Jimmy wasn't moving he just watched in awe.
"Typhlosion, Fireblast now!" Jimmy said snapping out of it when the
Machamp flew back he was injured but still mad Jimmy saw the hatred in his eyes. Thats it, he thought to himself. machamp bolted around again without the trainer even speaking.
"He's goin for a mach punch use Flamewheel!" typhlosion was quickly surrounded in a blaze that knocked Machamp back.
"Now's my chance," Jimmy pulled out his ball.
"Return" Machamp was quickly zapped with the beam and he was returned to his original state. Machamp was not returned to his pokeball but was now regular. at this point the opponent's eyes were wide open and the were angry, he whipped out a pokeball and hurled it into the air.
"Go Metagross" a large metalic creature on four out stretched legs
appeared.
"Meteor mash" the opponent said, Metagross bursted forward.
"Typhlosion use Fireblast, Machamp Seismic toss!" Typhlosion blasted Metagross. As metagross was attempting to bust through machamp grabbed Metagross' back leg and smashed him into the ground.

710

Uh, alot of dialogue. Some spacing mistakes(which are common) and cap mistakes(also common). You should put two spaces between each paragraph, to make them easier to spot. Other than that, looks good, though I didn't really like the idea of using Jimmy from Pokemon Chronicles.

Ok, I'm kinda confused, Who's who's pokemon? o_O