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Not Just Another Trainer http://forums.psypokes.com/forums/viewtopic.php?f=21&t=2079 |
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Author: | Sneaky Sneasel [ Sun Apr 17, 2005 8:46 am ] |
Post subject: | Not Just Another Trainer |
Well here I go! BTW: This story takes place in the FR/LG days. Characters: Manuel: The main hero in my story. Very determined to be a Pokemon Master, but which trainer isn't. Richard: Manuel's rival, knows a lot about Pokemon and just about loathes Manuel. Kelly: Manuel's best friend, goes on the journeys with him, a bit preppy at times though. Setting: Kanto/Sevii Islands. Ok now the story shall begin... Chapter 1: Shades of Your Journey Await "Manuel, wake up! You need yo get to Professor Oak's Lab today! You know what day it is!" Manuel's mother shoted, trying to wake Manuel up. She was downstairs in the kitchen making cinnamon rolls. She knew the fresh aroma of cinnamon rolls would get him up; if that didn't, then nothing would. Apperently she was right about the cinnamon rolls, for faster than a teleporting Abra, Manuel arrived at the kitchen and scarved down about 8 or 9 of them. After the smoke cleared, his mother said "You need to hurry down to Oak's Lab, so you can get your first Pokemon. You do know what day it is, right?" "Oh yeah. I better hurry then, otherwise I'll be too late.", he exclamied. So he got dressed and such and pulled on his shoes and made his way down to the lab. He took a look at his watch and it read 10:45 A.M. That was a bad sign for him, since he was supposed to be at the Lab 45 minutes ago. He eventually came to the lab, went inside and saw Richard and Kelly there with Poekballs in thier hands. "...And you each get 5 Pokeballs to capture other Pokemon in." explained Oak. "Ah, I see someone is a bit late." said Oak to Manuel. "Yeah, you missed it, I got a Charmander!", said Kelly happily. "I'm really sorry Professor Oak." said Manuel apologetically. "And I'm Oak, nice to meet you Really Sorry." replied Oak. Richard and Kelly couldn't help but chuckle. Manuel just made a staight face at them. "Anyway, since you were the last one here, you'll get the last Pokemon I currently have." Oak said, professionally. "Your Pokemon is Squirtle." "So I get Squirtle? Ok then.", he simply said as Oak handed him the Pokeball that contained Squirtle. "I finally have my own Pokemon.", he said to himself. "Hey! Quit daydreaming and let's battle! I want to see who's Pokemon is stronger." Richard said. "Fine then, prepare to lose!" retorted Manuel. [Pokemon battle commences, Richard vs. Manuel, 1-on-1 battle! *Funky music starts playing*] *Manuel sends out ![]() *Rick sends out ![]() *{bulbasaur} uses Tackle!* *{squirtle} is hit; 13HP left* *{squirtle} uses Tackle! Critical Hit!* *{bulbasaur} is hit; 6HP left.* *{squirtle} uses Tackle, ![]() *{squirtle} grew to LV 6!* [Battle ends, so does the funky music, Manuel wins! He gets some money!] "I can't believe I lost..." Rick said. "I won! YES!" Manuel shouted estatically. "You won, congrats!" Kelly screamed. "Yes, good job, I'm sure you'll make a spledid trainer." Oak calmly said. [End of Chapter 1, I shall Edit in the other chapters as opposed to posting each chatper individually to not cause confusion.] Stats: Manuel: ![]() ~Tackle ~Tail Whip Rick: ![]() ~Tackle ~Growl Kelly: ![]() ~Scratch ~Growl |
Author: | Benjamin [ Sun Apr 17, 2005 8:50 am ] |
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![]() |
Author: | Sneaky Sneasel [ Sun Apr 17, 2005 8:51 am ] |
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....My bad. ![]() EDIT: Fixed it! ![]() |
Author: | Magus [ Sun Apr 17, 2005 8:52 am ] |
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Good one Sneaky_Sneasel, but one thing, Squitle doen't learn Scratch, it learns Tackle. But still a good job try formating like this: Manuel: blah blah blah Kelly: blah blah blah Richard: Why are they saying "blah blah blah"? This make it easir to read, but i still think you did a good job ![]() |
Author: | rubypoke [ Sun Apr 17, 2005 8:53 am ] |
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Water Pokemon Master wrote: :| Squirtle doesn't know scratch at level 5. Maybe he does in this!? lol Good job SS, Another person starting with the traditional bulbasaur/squirtle/charmander approach. Nice job keep it going. |
Author: | Sneaky Sneasel [ Sun Apr 17, 2005 8:55 am ] |
Post subject: | |
Um, WPM didn't write the story, I did. And alright SF, I'll write like that now. Thanks for the advice ![]() |
Author: | dragonfan149 [ Sun Apr 17, 2005 1:37 pm ] |
Post subject: | |
I know this is early on, but it sounds to much like Ash's story. Good job though. |
Author: | Undeadcutlet [ Mon Apr 18, 2005 7:46 am ] |
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Personally I find the Character 1: blah blah blah Character 2: blah blah blah thing a little less interesting because there is more talking and less description (kind of like a script). Also with the battles you (sneaky_sneazel) are writing in what in another forum has been called anime battling which is where it pretty much says the move and then other person does move etc. but imagine if someone who'd never even heard of pokemon came along and read it, they wouldn't have a clue what you're talking about. I'm not trying to be condescending or anything but is you made made battles more like: Squirtle leaped head-first at Bulbasuar, tackling it to the ground (tackle). Bulbasaur got up again but was limping badly (critical hit) This way anyone can read your story and paint a picture in their mind of an exciting battle. But otherwise I think your story has potential as long as it goes in a different direction to the whole Ash thing. |
Author: | wisewords [ Wed Feb 28, 2007 1:23 pm ] |
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Coolness i like the Hi im really sorry nice to meet you really sorry *chuckle* Whens the next chapter coming out? |
Author: | Sneaky Sneasel [ Wed Feb 28, 2007 6:17 pm ] |
Post subject: | |
Never. I gave up on thois story almost two years ago. Don't revive threads from this long ago please. I mean you Latiosdude; you've revived a bunch of them in Fanfiction. Stop. |
Author: | black_flygon [ Wed Feb 28, 2007 10:04 pm ] |
Post subject: | |
Try looking up at the last date before posting on a forum. If you do it and it is very unnescesary then this is called necromancy. Think of it this way, this came a month later after I joined...and I've been here for some time now... |
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