y arent u continueing?i kinda liked it
| Psypoke http://forums.psypokes.com/forums/ |
|
| pokemon the begining http://forums.psypokes.com/forums/viewtopic.php?f=21&t=2155 |
Page 1 of 4 |
| Author: | 2x4b [ Thu Apr 21, 2005 1:39 pm ] |
| Post subject: | pokemon the begining |
here is a preview of a fanfic i started writing today, please review it!!!: The Beginning It was a quiet morning in the small town of pallet, and a raven haired twelve year old had just got out of his bed. His name was Jamie Rutty, and he was due to pick up his first pokemon from Professor Oak, So he got dressed [black jeans, a dark blue t-shirt and a black leather jacket] and went down stairs to get some breakfast. |
|
| Author: | darkmagician2523 [ Sat Apr 23, 2005 8:50 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
not too bad,but im not sure until i see more of it:) 6/10 |
|
| Author: | 2x4b [ Sun Apr 24, 2005 1:52 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
ok here is the second part of my story, pleeze review: As they were walking out of the lab mart said to Jamie |
|
| Author: | rubypoke [ Sun Apr 24, 2005 3:38 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
It's Interesting, I can't seem to get involved easily, but mind you I cant get involved into anything so don't worry. 5.5/10 I need to see more to give a good proper rate |
|
| Author: | darkmagician2523 [ Sun Apr 24, 2005 12:02 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
not too bad i suppose,but i think ur going too fast 6/10 |
|
| Author: | 2x4b [ Sat Apr 30, 2005 2:24 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
can an admin or mod please lock this as i will not be continuing my story yours sincerely, Kryten 2x4b |
|
| Author: | Kryten [ Sat Apr 30, 2005 4:34 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
YES you will J! |
|
| Author: | darkmagician2523 [ Sat Apr 30, 2005 10:00 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
y arent u continueing?i kinda liked it
|
|
| Author: | 2x4b [ Sun May 01, 2005 1:57 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
ok i'll continue it, but some of the characters have changed so i could work kryten into the story |
|
| Author: | 2x4b [ Sun May 01, 2005 2:00 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
here is part three, pleeze review: Martin, Jamie and Misty have just left the pokemoncenter and are now walking through Viridian Forest, |
|
| Author: | darkmagician2523 [ Sun May 01, 2005 6:37 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
hmmmm....not too bad i guess....i really love the evee 7/10 |
|
| Author: | 2x4b [ Mon May 02, 2005 2:00 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
heres part four please review: |
|
| Author: | darkmagician2523 [ Mon May 02, 2005 6:45 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
ooo,battle!!i like it alot:).... 8.5/10 |
|
| Author: | 2x4b [ Tue May 03, 2005 8:52 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
heres part five, thanks for the reviews: As they entered pewter, jamie slowed down to talk to martin who was walking behind him and misty |
|
| Author: | Truestar [ Tue May 03, 2005 9:06 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
I also rated you, be careful of the technical stuff, such as grammar, captilization etc. But do keep going! |
|
| Author: | 2x4b [ Tue May 03, 2005 9:19 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
o.k thanks truestar, but my co-author kryten is working on that |
|
| Author: | 2x4b [ Tue May 03, 2005 1:24 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
ok heres part six, keep them reviews comin: As they entered the gym someone shouted to them from behind |
|
| Author: | darkmagician2523 [ Tue May 03, 2005 7:44 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
kryten2x4b wrote: jamie then began kicking him in the stomach, and to finish it he picked ash up and kneed him in the groin  .
8.5/10 |
|
| Author: | 2x4b [ Wed May 04, 2005 4:08 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
heres part seven, thanks for the reviews: Jamie woke up in a hospital bed, |
|
| Author: | darkmagician2523 [ Wed May 04, 2005 2:10 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
HAHAHAHA!!omg that funny.... 9/10 |
|
| Author: | 2x4b [ Wed May 04, 2005 2:49 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
thanks for the reviews, theres a bit of romance in part eight |
|
| Author: | Kryten [ Thu May 05, 2005 8:54 am ] |
| Post subject: | K |
Keep working 2x4b! Go kryterz! |
|
| Author: | 2x4b [ Thu May 05, 2005 8:56 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
ok heres part eight, thanks for the reviews: They all entered the pokemoncenter, and then brock got a funny look on his face as he saw a nurse joy run past and he started to float after her, |
|
| Author: | darkmagician2523 [ Thu May 05, 2005 6:01 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
awwwwwww,how sweet 9.5/10 |
|
| Author: | 2x4b [ Sat May 07, 2005 3:11 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
heres part nine, keep them reviews comin: The next morning, brock and martin were sat around the camp fire looking at the spot where jamie and misty had walked off, martin stood up and said to brock |
|
| Page 1 of 4 | All times are UTC - 8 hours [ DST ] |
| Powered by phpBB® Forum Software © phpBB Group http://www.phpbb.com/ |
|