My first EVER Fan Fiction. That's why it's probably horrible.

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PART 1:

Magmaras was very weak at this time. It's body had been soaked and was dying. It needed help. And quick. But who was going to help him?? He was a Fire pokemon, dying in the middle of the sea. Nobody could possibly help him. Suddenly, a splash, a swirl, and Hydron burst out of the sea, leaving behind it a trail of slime. It was like Groudon, except it lived in the sea with Kyogre and Lugia. No Magmaras was REALLY dead. It couldn't move as the shock of Hydron literally petrified him. Suddenly, sun blazing as high as it could, Ho-oh swept out of the sky. It knew Magmaras. It's close friend, Groudon, had ordered Magmaras to watch over the Mt. Sicravo, the recently erupted volcano, which Kyogre targeted.
Lugia had swooped down with an Aeroblast and knocked Magmaras out cold. Then that Lugia had brought Magmaras back to this ocean to leave Mt. Sicravo an open target. Magmaras's leader, Groudon, had a small group of people to help thwart Kyogre's plans. These included Ho-oh, Entei, Moltres and recently Absol. On the other side, Kyogre had Lapras, Lugia, Suicune, Hydron and bought his newest companion, shuckle, for a mere 1500 pokebucks.
Ho-oh launched a Solarbeam at Hydron and had enough time to swoop down and grab Magmaras. It flyed back to Mt. Ember, where Groudon rested. The story was only begining.....

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PART 2:

Coming soon...

Really Good!!!!!!

Thanks, I'll try to continue it as soon as school lets me.

pretty good a little confusing but good

Very Good. the story is interesting and exciting
8/10
your first try is pretty good but quite messy

It's pretty good. I voted average! I'll give it:
7.5/10

keep trying

THAT WAS SWEET!
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{unown t} {unown s} AWSOME!!!
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