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| - Ty the Tasmanian Tiger Adventures - http://forums.psypokes.com/forums/viewtopic.php?f=21&t=6948 |
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| Author: | Kryten [ Wed Jan 18, 2006 12:58 pm ] |
| Post subject: | - Ty the Tasmanian Tiger Adventures - |
Hi all, I have my obssession on Ty now so please read this (I am rubbish at writing so please post your scores and READ it, not skim it like some people *COUGHkdtwCOUGH*) Thanks! On with the story:- __________________________________________________________________________ Ty the Tasmanian Tiger Adventures Story 1: Curse of the Midnight Billabong 1. Introduction It was late Monday afternoon and two Tasmanian tiger mothers were walking their children in the park. The sandy floor was bright, there were no clouds, it was a perfect day for two friends to go for a walk. The usual Australian sun was glaring away and the young children were climbing, jumping and playing in the park just opposite the Billabong. It was a great place for couples to go at night and was extremely beautiful, sunset and sunrise. One of the mother |
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| Author: | Anade [ Wed Jan 18, 2006 2:44 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
Hm...you're doing the two different stories? Okay. They're both alright, but I want to see what you do with them.  They would both be a LOT easier to read (and more enjoyable), though, if you made paragraphs and put dialogue on its own line every time.
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| Author: | Kryten [ Thu Jan 19, 2006 9:27 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
Ok...Firstly, it's one story. The introduction was a....well....introduction to the story! Second, I've put the Speech on another line every time someone else speaks. Here are a few of the character's basic profiles to give you some info on them) Ty - Wears hawaiian swim shorts and caries a boomerang. Orangey coloured fur and a long tuft of hair at the front of his head. Always ready for action and determined to let good be done. Shazza - Ty's trusted friend. She's always there for him and up for a laugh. Wears shorts and a top and has yellowish hair which usually covers one eye and orange fur. Sly - Ty's long lost brother. After defecting from Boss Cass, he is always helping Ty and runs a Boomerang Shack in the middle of the outback. Wears fingerless gloves and biker outfit. Darker fur than Ty and used to battle with the Doomerang, a contollable boomerang which explodes on impact. Known as the "local bad boy" even though he has changed his evil ways. Mum and Dad - Looking out for Ty all the while, lost in the Dremland when they fought Boss Cass many years ago. They work in a Rang Shop in Burramudgee town and favour Sly for coming to good. Naomi - Hippy possum who loves music. Not very adventurous. Friendly and wears bright coloured khaki trousers and t-shirt. Julius - Inventive koala who is a genius. Invents new rangs for Sly and upgrades Race Karts for a living. Loyal to Ty and wears lab coat and glasses. Lenny - A Lyrebird which the name is all it's cracked up to be, he lies. A lot. Don't believe anything he says. Boss Cass - Evil mastermind turkey. Used Sly to get power over Ty and the Bush Rescue but Sly turned back on him and overthrew him yet again. Dennis - A treefrog who collects Thunder Eggs, a rare type of rock. Very rich and opened up a memoiral road across a lake for himself, wears Captain of a ship's clothes. |
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| Author: | Kryten [ Fri Jan 20, 2006 1:51 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
3. Sly |
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| Author: | Anade [ Fri Jan 20, 2006 3:11 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
Ah. I get it now. Your first chapter is much easier to read, too.  Looks interesting...
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| Author: | Kryten [ Fri Jan 27, 2006 12:35 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
Thanks for actually reading it. If it weren't for you, I'd be stuck and wouldn't write. 
____________________________________________________________________ 4. Frills Skills Ty looked up and felt the Australian breeze whisp through his fur. He closed his eyes again but suddenly there was a hard jolt and the Fourbie (Shazza |
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| Author: | Anade [ Sat Jan 28, 2006 10:08 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
I'm happy to read them. Could you possibly space the last two (and the coming ones) out like you did the first ones, though? It really makes it much easier to read and appreciate. |
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| Author: | 2x4b [ Sun Jan 29, 2006 7:57 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
NO TY! Wow Kryts this rocks, I like it...... I really like it.... |
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| Author: | jnj11 [ Fri Mar 03, 2006 8:18 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
very cool its like a mini tv showafter the game.9/10 |
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