Granted, but it's a Magikarp. It doesn't need a backfire, but I'll do one anyway; it never learns anything other than splash, and never evolves.

I wish I had Pikmin 2.

Granted, but it doesn't mean anything for Pikmin 3

I wish I had my very own Robot Master and Metal Gear so I could make them fight just for kicks

granted but the only thing you get kicks from is um them ya robot master and metal gear
edit: you get kicked. just saying.

I wish I had a DW poliwag

@rex09. oooww ya carp carp do splash one more time.

Granted. You get... a Dreamworks Poliwag. With this face: S:J

I wish the genie his freedom!

Granted, now the evil ex-vizier, sorcerer, & now gigantic genie is free to destroy the world as he likes. I hope you wasn't talking about that blue genie locked in the lamp.
I wish Jafar all the best!

Granted, its a good idea too, since your his personal slave now. . .

I wish to buy a vowel.

Granted, but Target ran all out of vwpels. Sorry.

I wish that ShinylLucario was my slave, not Jafar's.

Granted, but he can't do anything

I wish I had no homework

granted but now you spend all your time at school

I wish for less pain

Granted, but since you now feel no pain, you are shot in the chest by a sniper, but don't realize it until it's too late.

I wish for my first day of high school to go well tomorrow.

Granted but on your 2nd day of HS you get shot.....

I wish I knew where my Pokemon Black game is.

Granted, but it's in the middle of the ocean

I wish I had a 100 inch TV

Granted, its 100 inches long, but its only 0.0000000001 inches TALL, so you can't really see anything

I wish I would find a legit song tomorrow that's 5 minutes long and I epicly like it and I had full access to and I wouldn't get in any trouble for buying and it only cost $1.00 and I wouldn't get hurt from it in any way.

Granted...you got a legit song that's 5 minutes long and you epicly like it and you had full access to and you wouldn't get in any trouble for buying and it only cost $1.00 and you wouldn't get hurt from it in any way. However everyone else in the world epicly despise it and want to kill you whenever you play the song.
I wish that everyone is my super-obedient personal slave and would do anything for me but would never harm me.

Granted, but your overthrow yourself and free the slaves that were your obidient slaves, who report you to the UN.

I wish for the meaning of my fourtune Cookie.

Granted, it means the destruction of the world in 5 seconds

I wish they wouldn't find me.....
I think I already did this, but meh

Granted, but no one can find you now

I wish I had 20 cars (no toy ones)

Granted, but they're the ones from Back to the Future, and criminals hijack them and drive them to the future, never to be seen by you again...

I wish that I had a bullet-proof jacket for tomorrow. Thanks a lot fifaking. Now I'm scared for my life...

Granted, but its too heavy and you have to roll to move.

I wish I had a new mountain bike

Granted but there's a mountain ON TOP OF the bike, so you cant get it off

I wish for a rock (idk)

Granted, but it's a rock with a bad magnetic field which affects you're brain

I wish for a normal bike

Granted, you get an ordinary bicycle. That's what they called the one from the 1880s with the giant front wheel that was basically a deathtrap.

I wish I could play the keytar without having to learn it

Granted, but you have no clue about the technical terms and fail in the end

I wish I had a private jet

Granted but it doesn't have a fuel tank.

I wish it wasn't raining for my soccer practice.

Granted, but the pitch was already too wet from previous rainfall so you can play anyway

I wish I had a private jet with a fuel tank