This is based on the comp: pokemon elimination challenge II


Jynx: hello and welcome to the second season of big poke brother, I'm your host Gardy. I will be interveiwing the housemates as they are voted out.
Here is are boss deoxys who will only be communicating through speaker only.
Deoxys: Hello Jynx. Are you as exited about this season as I am?
Jynx: I think I am. But lets hear what last years winner has to say.
Dragonite: Oh I am exited. I hope last years contestants are watching.
I think this years contestants will have a great time
Jynx: Well Our contestant have entered the house now.
We have six females this season they are ,{eevee}, ,{baltoy}, and . Our males this year are plentyful, they are , , {porygon 2},{pikachu}, ,{bulbasaur},{seadra},{milotic},{ariados}, ,{quagsire},{wurmple}, and .
Lets enter the house.

Day1

Jynx: The housemates seem to be mixing well.
Gardevoir: So glalie what do you do for fun?
Glalie: well i enjoy long floats on the glacier and chewing ice-cubes.
Gardevoir: Ok, wel i like candle light meals and..
Glalie: Sorry to interupt but I got a Spheal at home and were pretty serious,so i'm not exactly on the market.
Gardevoir: You thought I was hitting on you? Get over yourself , Your a big ball of ice. Who would find that attractive?

Bulbasaur: so eevee
Eevee: I dont think so!
Bulbasaur: whats that supposed to mean?
Eevee: It means I hate you!

porygon 2: this bookshelf ahs nothing of educational value.
Ludicolo: And no good records neither!

Wormple:I like your wings, there shiney
Heracross: thanks, I like your your stinger its pointy and looks rather poisiness.
Jynx: At this point i need to say that these are complements between bug types.

Deoxys: atention housemates please report to the pool!

Diary room
Scizor: The producer had set us are first challenge of many to come apparently. The contestant that faired worst would ahve that against him when it came to round 1 vot off.

Deoxys:In this challenge you will solve a number of questions.
The first question answerd incorrectly is where we stop. The housmate who answer incorrectly will receive a point twards eviction .
And those who are not asked questions or answer correctly get no points.
Questin 1: What attack is any attack? Kabutops.
Kabutops: em. Metronome
Deoxys: correct!
question 2: What hold item only works on a certain pokemon? Pikachu.
Pikachu: lucky punch
deoxys: correct.
Question 3: what attack hurts the usser even if it doesent hit? Baltoy.
Baltoy: double edge?
Deoxys: incorrect. The correct answer was high jump kick.
The challenge has ended. Baltoy please follow my assistant gastly.

A gasltly apeared out of the wall and baltoy sadly followed.
The gastly led baltoy to a battle arena.

Gastly: here you will have to destroy this large rock.
If after five attacks you have not broken it then you are evicted. GO!

Baltoy first attacked with rock throw. The small rocks he threw just bounced off the large rock.
He next attacked with psychic followed by rock tomb.
Rock tomb had no effect but psychic chped the roock a little.
He tried calm mind and then psychic. This psychic cracked the rock almost completely but still failed.

Gastly: Baltoy, you have failed to complete your challenge you are now evicted from the big poke house.

Deoxys: attention housemates. Your fellow contestant baltoy has been evicted. In round 2 it will take more than 1 point to evict a housemate.
Remember,we will be watching you constantly and we will give you eviction points for reasons other than challenges. That is all.

Jynx: How does it feel to be the first evicted after only 4 hours in the house?
Baltoy: not so great, but I hope I will get over it.
Jynx: there you have it folks round one is over baltoy has been evicted.
Watch tomorrow for round 2. This was Jynx from Big poke brother saying see ya next time!

Chansey can only be female....and learn to spell before posting in here.

sorry about the chansey thing i just based it on the gender of the person posting the suggestion.
And sorry about spelling but we cant all spell everything right always. as long as people can make it out its fine.
And no need to be so blunt.

USE CAPEETALL LETTERS.

But seriously, this is a fanfiction, which is fiction, which is a type of book, which most of them contain 0 spelling and grammar mistakes. With the amount of mistakes you made, I'm just going to ask you to edit it.

That's just the beginning, too, but I have a feeling you're easily offended, so I'll stop the Cowell-esque criticiscm right here.

You did alright. i give it a 3/5

sneaky sneasel It wasnt wat you said it was the way you said it.
When I offer criticism I try be nice while I do it.
Oh and learn to spell criticism and capital

Learn to spell the following:

interviewing
contestants (You said contestant, but if there was only 1, it wouldn't be much of a story, then again, it isn't much of one anyway.)
well
what's
has
they're
shiny
it's
poisonous
attention
have
vote
towards
user
what

There are also dozens of grammatical, captialization, and character/plot development errors, but I think I'll save you from further humiliation. Also, the "CAPEETALL" thing was a JOKE. Learn to spell that too. One more thing too, it's ok if I spell one word wrong because my post wasn't part of a story, and yours was. Ha.

just cause your a gym leader you think you can talk down to us other members, but you cant, your just to full of yourself to think other wise
I'm leaving the forums goodbye and anyone can finish my fan fics exept my two least fav members: Sneaky sneasel and Mr.Minish.
Goodbye my three fav members: Kryten, Derrick valesco (sorry if i spelled it wrong) and water phantom even if he is no longer here.
Sneaky sneasel dont flatter yourself thinkin that you made me leave but the site is more boring now than I thought it would be.
loosen up on some of your rules and mabey more less people will leave.

It wouldnt have hurt to be a little nicer, S.S

This is the thanks I get for providing honest crticism? And I wasn't talking down to you, in fact I'm mad of a lot of the people who have posted a half-ass attempt at a story here. I wasn't being mean (ok so I was, but the truth hurts), but I am not flattering myself.

Anyway, if being mean makes people leave the forums, maybe I should be mean all the time. Also, like I'd want to finish your story, and it seems you hate Mr. Minish for no real reason.

Also, Lapras_lover, no one was talking to you, so shut up.

Sorry to but-in but I'm with S_S on this one. For a start S_S was trying to help you improve and I as a Veteran Fanfic writer (Even though I haven't posted many) accept criticism in all forms, it helps you improve and write better, if I worried about every little piece of criticism I'd be a nervous wreck, it's a pointless thing to leave over

That's my two-cents.

I'm pretty sure M550 meant he didnt leave cause of S.S but cause he thought the forums were boring.
And you shut up! You realy know how to greet new members.
Do you want people to leave the forums?

Actually yes, I would like a lot of the people to leave, but if I said any names, I might offend someone and/or get in trouble. Plus then if eveyone I didn't like did leave, then I'd have no one to make fun of

I hope that you like me, because I really like you.

Pardon me while I TOSS MY COOKIES.

Yay, COOKIES.

PSA: Sneaky Sneasel does not speak on behalf of the entire forum staff here, so do not think that his posts are reflective of the rest of us.

:)

It's because I'm being honest, isn't it?

Lmao



I'm going to close this before it turns into a flame war.