I have a serious problem with my life. I have a huge amount of self-hate and I can't tell people in person. I can't tell anyone. If I do, it makes them upset. If my co-workers or my friends or family knew that truthfully I am really upset all the time inside, then they will get upset. Especially my fiancee. And if they get upset, Im afraid that they'll blame me for amking them upset, and I dont want them unhappy. I don't want anyone unhappy. So I have to pretend I'm happy all the time. What amI supposed to do? Should I stay unhappy like this forever? I don't know what to do. I hate mysel;f so much, and I cant ever cry around anyone. What must I do?

-Ryan

A touchy subject...

What I do when I have one of my depressed moments is cry when nobody else is around. It helps. Though, if your self-hate is as severe as you say, you may want to seek professional help. That's just my opinion, though, and if you don't want to listen to a fourteen-year-old's opinion, I don't mind.

I hope I helped, even a little bit...

I remember when I went through the self-hate stage.

I had problems with my parents, I tried to run away, kill myself.

My parents took me outta school one day and took me to a family crises center, they really helped

After only one visit, I felt a lot better, and I think you will too.

About telling your fiancee and co-workers........
hm.that is a touchy subject, if your fiancee is a kind, caring, understanding person, you could tell her. Make sure it is clear to her that you STILL WANT TO GET MARRIED AND THAT IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH HER!!!!!!!!!! Your co-workers, I dunno............

Trust me, go to counseling if it is that bad, they can really help you man

Best wishes, and don't hate yourself, if you be the best person you can be, then there is nothing to hate!

I often hide my emotions like that as well. I always tell people that I could be enraged at that very moment and they'd never know. However, I keep it under control by finding a healthy venting medium: my writing. Whether I'm angry, sad, or just feeling jaeded by the world, I can always relieve it through my pen, letting the page soak up all of the negativity.

Maybe that's what you need. A hobby or a medium that you can use to pull yourself through those down swings.

The thing I recommend you to do is Community work. You get to see so many people who are much worst off then you, and it's a great way to give back to the community. I've got a friend who was in this stage of her life, and now after a bit of community work, she's feeling great, she's helping raise money to build a school in Africa.

[[I dunno, I think it's pretty easy for me to say that, I've always been happy with what I've got. But it's worth a try at least.]]

EDITZ: Tony, you make it sound like the sun always rises on time and that our world is perfect. It isn't.

#1: Why do you "hate" yourself? "hating" yourself isn't right. It makes you uncondifent (is that a word?) just ignore it. Deal with it. Think positive. Imagine you destroyed Osama Bin-Ladens plans to take over the world, better yet imagine you destroyed him yourself (I'm serious). I had to deal with this also except it wasn't myself it was my cousins ex-girlfriend. It's best to ignore it sometimes, you really should look at the positive side of things.

I mean come on. Don't pretend. If your unhappy SOMETIMES just show it someone will cheer you up. Trust me. Don't fill yourself with self-hate. If you do, you'll end up doing something stupid.