Chapter 1 The Gecko Came Back

"That's the last of 'em"the Blaziken decreed. "Good ridance to." another one declared,as they filled a truck full of Treecko's being shipped out of the Hoenn reigon.That night an army of Blazikens had went and searched for sleeping treeckos to ship out of Hoenn as part of a plot to destroy all grass types and treeckos were their first target.The Blazikens had partied all night because of the succes of the first part of thier plan.Meanwhile, miles away in the Shinou reigon the Treeckos also stayed up all night.They weren't partying though they were plotting...The next day the Blazikens went about thier buissness as usual and pretended not to know where the Treeckos had gone.Then one noticed a Peliper with what seemed to be a small cute green head poking out.GREEN?It looked up again but the Peliper was gone.He shook his head and pretended nothing had happened.That night when all the Blazikens went to the Blaziken Relam,there was a slight problem.Treeckos were everywhere and when the Blazikens were finnaly able to get in,the Treckos had escaped in Pelipers,with all the blazikens prized possesions, food and water.That night the Blazikens had to scavenge any bits of food they could find but they still went to sleep with hungry tummys.Luckily the treeckos had (out of kindness)left enough money to feed the tribe for a couple of days,long enough for them to harvest the crops.Meanwhile in a florishing forest (because Celebi had dropped in that night) the Treeckos partyed.But they knew the Blazikens would want revenge so they had to be very careful.


(please comment about my why you chose what you did on my poll )

Your making the no1 pokemon seem stupid!!!

I am not here to continue with the story(no time)

Blazikendude my story is supposed to make Treeckos look awesome in one chapter and Blazikens look cool in the next so MAYBE you should have waited for me to do the next chapter,though sorry for the problems i have caused.(in the next chapter blazikens are able to outwit Treeckos )

This story defeats power with craftiness and toying with emotions. This looks good. I like Treecko better than Blaziken (I like Blaziken but strangely I also hate it). I give this 7.7/10.
And trim the size of your sig picture down, it goes well over the 200px limit.

(Thank you for your feedback on chapter 1,like i said earlier,this chapter's about the Blazikens revenge)

Chapter 2 Hawks Are Powerful Birds

Now the Treeckos thought about no worries."Blazikens won't mess with us anymore" said one Treecko."Anyone could relise that" . They all nodded in agreement except for Celebi.Celebi had gone into the future that morning and saw that the Treeckos had been defeated by the Blazikens.Yet not one single Treecko would listen (like with the Blazikens , they all paid just because of one of thier kinds ignorance.) That night they had a bonfire,which every Treecko attended.They had so much fun,that they didn't notice a couple of hawk like muscular shadows creeping past or the fire getting REALLY hot.Soon that all changed when..."FIRE PUNCHES NOW"It was chaos as the Blazikens raided the forest taking all of thier possesions back(a few of the Treeckos ones to)and for reapaying the favor left enough money to feed the tribe for a couple of days (till the Treeckos could harvest thier crops). After the Blazikens left the Treeckos sat down and all agreed that they should have listened to Celebi,who refused to take them back.That night the Blazikens went to sleep happy,and the Treeckos went to sleep cured of ignorance.But both sides knew the war had just begun....

You were right! I love the story now! The party parts from chapter 1 sounded kinda dumb. NOTE: I'm a team inferno member now!

Congratulations for joining Team Inferno.

And congratulations to Treeckomaster for the next chapter. I've heard this thing before: someone sees the future and no one listens, and they all pay for it when it happens. This event actually happened in ancient history, with the destruction of Jerusalem by the Babylonians.

I give the story so far 8.3/10.

(unfortunatly now that both sides have gotten each other back,actual war breaks out.Oh and soccer, you have sharp eyes,because that was actually what i based Celebi's warning on )

Chapter 3: LeafGreen and FireRedThere might be another...

The next day,the Treeckos had had enough.They were crankey because of all this hussle, just for the Blazikens sudden urge to get rid of all Grass Types.And they had to hurry the fruits and ended up plucking most UNRIPE,so they all had stomach aches.Meanwhile the Blazikens were facing the same problems.Both sides were furious.They really had the evil desire to destroy each other.And to most, that only meant one word:war.So three cute green heads were leaning over a map, while three strong red bodys were having a very heated disscussion.
***
That night a small green figure sneaked in the shadows,climbed a few walls and knocked on a window."Torchic"he hissed,"get up!". "Wha, who is it, TREECKO!?". "Shhhhhhhh",the Treecko whispered."Torchic,there's going to be a war,so I can't be your friend anymore."."Why not?"Torchic asked to Treecko."It's between the Fire Starters and the Grasss Starters now, and slowly more and more pokemon will get draged and if anyone knew that me,you.Charmander and Bulbasaur are friends,we all are"then Treecko ran his finger down his throat.There was a tearful parting and as Treecko left, Torchic called out,"I hope I'll see you again...". That night the to armys had finished the recruitment and had chosen a name. LeafGreen and FireRed.

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Contest!!! Free custom signature with Pokemon of your choice to the person who gives the answer to this question:
Which generation(not counting Jewels)was excluded from Treecko and Torchics group of friends?(Hint:think at the start.) First person to post it Wins!!!![/b]

Jhoto... And don't bother the contest, nobody liked your art.

I can't say it's horrible, because other than a few grammatical and spelling issues that could be easily solved there's really nothing wrong with this.

Oh never mind, a new paragraph begins EVERY time a new character speaks or the topic changes.

Um...Blaziken we're not here to criticize art...nor are we here to make contests Treecko...and it's Sorcerer not soccer.

It has an interesting storyline over all...but I think that there could be more to it. I don't feel the emotions, especially at the end with Torchic and Treecko. They're having a tearful parting, so how come I just feel like they're talking about the weather?

Its pretty good, i guess, but you should inprove the grammar and spelling, also like ~crimson~ said, the storys a little flat, but your on the right track.

Nothing... was ever going to be the same....

Chapter 4:The First Quest Starts

"Wanna play Razor Ball?"
"No"
"Why?"
"Just don't want to."
Treeck rolled over.A sadness like no other hung over him.
"Would you come over to my house now?" Bulbasaur asked inocintly.
"Sure" responded Treecko.Anything to get that sad feeling out of him.
"Hope I'll see you again" the misty sound of Torchics voice drifted through his head.
He started to cry.About how unfair it was.Now all the Grass Starters had been draged into this,and it just wasn't going to be the same.And worst of he was never going to see Torchic and Charmander again.
He got up to go to Bulbasaur's house,tears still silently streaming down his face.When he got there Bulbasaur queitly let him in.
"I got something for you."he whispered,and opened a cuboard.
Inside was a green bandana and a Razor Vine.
"It's wonderful." Treecko said."Just i wish Torchic and Charmander could see it."
"And thats why weree going to see them"
"Really?"
"Really."
So they set off determind to go see thier friends,but the journey was going to be tough,with security and enemies everywhere.......

Um... why exactly are they risking there lives to show a vine to torchic? And could you make the chapter a litle longer?

It's pretty good, but why didn't you involve Cyndaquil or Chikarita? They're grass pokemon too.... And where do water pokemon stand in all of this?

EDIT- I was wondering if you'd like to start posting stories at a new pokemon forum called pokelightning? We have an entire section devoted to this... Here's the link http://pokelightning.informe.com/ We could really use someone like you...

It has nothing to do with sharp eyes, but a sharp mind rather. Wait, did you just call me Soccer?



Thank you Crimson!

I retain my past rating of 8.3/10.

Chapter5:Fire Is Dangerous

Torchic gazed out her window.Not like it was going to help,but just maybe, maybe,they would come,help her and Charmander. Just then a cry roused her from her sences.

"HEELLLLP!!!"
"Wha the..."Torchic gasped as she looked out her window.Then she saw where the noise came from.Charmander was down in the ally,cornered by the police.
"Torchic,they found out we were friends with Bulbasaur and Tree-"He screamed the last word cut out by the Blaziken police chief,who Torchic heared say:
"This ones been sentenced to death."
Torchic knew what to do immediatly.She had put on her Fire Claw when her door suddenly slammed open.
"Well,well,well, trying to save your traitor pal aren't you?"The Blaziken chief started to grin."Looks like you didn't get to far." he started to laugh.
But Torchic was braver then the cchief thought.
"YOU WILL NEVER CATCH ME!" Torchic yelled jumping out her window.
The chief didn't move a muscle."A Torchic would never make the fall" he murmured softly.Then he just left.
Meanwhile Torchic was on the wall of her house.-theyll never find me here-Torchic thought.Then she started looking for the building Charmander was in.But she knew that once she found the building, she'd have to get past all their security,not to mention if anyone sees her alive,she'd be on a wanted poster for sure.But she had to...for Charmander.......

Its doing ok, the storys suspenseful, but here you have MAJOR spelling problems. This is runaing the story a bit.

but other than that its good.

if i had time i would be writing a story that everyone hates.


TREECKOLUV, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK THAT YOU CAN TELL ME OFF FOR SPELLING PROBLEMS?

YOU ARE JUST LIKE BLAZIKENDUDE.

Calm down Treeckomaster. They are just giving suggestions and like asking questions. And for example your heared . Just check your work next time and your story would be fine. Keep trying!

Treeckomaster, the only one who's telling people off is you and soon to be me. You're out of control. Get off your high horse and I will be blunt, your story it pretty pathetic, I don't understand why people read it and enjoy it as much as they do. Your story is rushed, detached of emotion, the reader can not create a bond with your characters, and in general of poor quality. The only reason I check pathetic excuses of stories written by noobs such as yourself is to try to comprehend everyone's logic. GET OVER YOURSELF, YOU ARE NOT THAT GOOD AT WRITING. And even IF you WERE, you would never have the right to act like this. You're the kind of person who's the reason for the threat of an application thread.

READ THESE WORDS, YOU ARE NOT A WRITING PRODIGY! What part of it takes years for a writer to improve do you noobs have issues comprehending. Talk to any writer who is ABOVE your skill level, such as AAMB, Obsidian Wolf, and probably Galar but they don't post much, and they will tell you. Or if you don't believe the opinions of those on PsyPoke, go ask someone in real life who has been writing for more than a year. It usually takes around three years for someone to progress in overall skill, such as writing longer chapters. However your SPELLING ISSUE is easily remedied with proofreading and a spell checker. I suggest that before you go reviewing on any other person's story, adding 'advice' I would start reflecting on your own issues such as your huge ego, spelling issues, and overall style. NO MATTER WHAT SKILL LEVEL YOU ARE AT, YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO YELL AT SOMEONE OR GET MAD WHEN SOMEONE REVIEWS AND OFFERS ADVICE OR CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM, NEVER. I'm all for helping people improve, but the only way that'll happen is if you get off your high horse.

Ditto to that, AABM.

Treeckomaster, you really shouldn't get angry at someone because you have spelling problems. Spelling is one of the most important things in a story, because if you spell the word wrong, you can give off a completely different idea than the one you're giving. The more common examples of misspelled words are there and their, and it's and its. People always put the apostrophe, no matter whether or not it's a possessive adjective. And also at the beginning it was kind of good, but now it's mostly dialogue. Not that dialogue is bad, but you shouldn't go above a 50/50 ratio between dialogue and description - the ideal (I believe) is 25/75. Stories should be drafted several times and read to someone for editing, like a close family member (that way you have confidence in reading it out loud). You may think it's foolish, but it works. Trust me on this one. And spell checkers don't hurt either - most word processors have one, including the Psypoke Forum one. (For some reason it doesn't like the word "dialogue"...)
If you follow the aforementioned tips, you should do fine.


Uh...That's because they're brothers.

- DNA

Also treeckomaster is owr freind [yes, from "the real deal".

Treeckomaster, why are you writing this and then spaz at people who offer advice. If you noticed, when you did what you did to treeckoluv to me in my story, Deoxys, the true story, Crimson was being nice, but when you did it here you drove her over the edge. Personnaly I think you should take our advice so your story will be interesting again. I used to like it but now.....

just live with my spaz out please....And ~Crimson~ forgot SorcererDna on her list....

Chapter 6:Wounded Trust (Part 1)

Treecko and Bulbasaur were walking through a city full of lush,green grass.Bulbasaur paused to munch on some.
" 'Dis is delshish!"he exclaimed with a mouth full off grass.
Treecko looked at him,picked up a weed and put it in his mouth.A flow of delicius sweeet juice flowed into his mouth.
"Mmm"Treecko murmered as they continued on thier way.
They were going on when they paused.
"Do you here that sob?"Bulbasaur asked.
Then it sounded again.
"I sure did..."Treecko said cautiosly.
They carefully made thier way toward the sound and....
A Turtwig was sobbing over a Chikorita,who was unconnsience beside him.
"Can you help her?" the Turtwig asked quietly.
"Of course."Bulbasaur said calmly as he sprinkled some powder from his bulb on the Chikorita.Chikorita stirred then opened her eyes.
"Thanks"she murmered before going to sleep,weak.
"What happened?" Treecko asked Turtwig
"You see the grass army found out we were friends of fire pokemon so they attacked.I got under cover but Chikorita barely made it.They eventually left tired of searching for us,and then you found us."
"well lets just get out of here." said Treecko laying Chikorita on Bulbasaur and Turtwigs back."Let's just hope no one sees u-"

"THERE THEY ARE,WITH TRAITOR FRIENDS!!!! GET THEM!!!!!" a mob was shouting behind them.


"RUN!!!"Treecko shouted climbing on. But how long can we? he thought...