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pokemon the begining
Moderators: Mektar, goldenquagsire
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pokemon the begining
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Pokemon Master   Joined: Sun Apr 10, 2005 9:55 am Posts: 1456 Location: Stafford, UK 
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here is a preview of a fanfic i started writing today, please review it!!!:
The Beginning It was a quiet morning in the small town of pallet, and a raven haired twelve year old had just got out of his bed. His name was Jamie Rutty, and he was due to pick up his first pokemon from Professor Oak, So he got dressed [black jeans, a dark blue t-shirt and a black leather jacket] and went down stairs to get some breakfast. Last edited by 2x4b on Fri Jul 08, 2005 7:42 am, edited 4 times in total. |
| Thu Apr 21, 2005 1:39 pm |
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Ace Trainer  Joined: Wed Mar 16, 2005 7:55 am Posts: 361 Location: flying with starfire
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not too bad,but im not sure until i see more of it:)
6/10 _________________ <center>  </center><center> </center>http://s11.invisionfree.com/gamefreak_f ... SF&s=&f=11 my forums great avy by kryten!! |
| Sat Apr 23, 2005 8:50 pm |
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Pokemon Master Joined: Sun Apr 10, 2005 9:55 am Posts: 1456 Location: Stafford, UK
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ok here is the second part of my story, pleeze review:
As they were walking out of the lab mart said to Jamie Last edited by 2x4b on Fri Jul 08, 2005 7:40 am, edited 1 time in total. |
| Sun Apr 24, 2005 1:52 am |
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Pokemon Master  Joined: Mon Mar 28, 2005 5:12 am Posts: 1738 Location: England, with the greasy fry ups.
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It's Interesting, I can't seem to get involved easily, but mind you I cant get involved into anything so don't worry.
5.5/10 I need to see more to give a good proper rate _________________ Coca Cola, 2 Litres a day, keep ma batteries onnnn. |
| Sun Apr 24, 2005 3:38 am |
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Ace Trainer Joined: Wed Mar 16, 2005 7:55 am Posts: 361 Location: flying with starfire
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not too bad i suppose,but i think ur going too fast
6/10 _________________ <center> </center><center></center>http://s11.invisionfree.com/gamefreak_f ... SF&s=&f=11 my forums great avy by kryten!! |
| Sun Apr 24, 2005 12:02 pm |
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Pokemon Master Joined: Sun Apr 10, 2005 9:55 am Posts: 1456 Location: Stafford, UK
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can an admin or mod please lock this as i will not be continuing my story
yours sincerely, Kryten 2x4b |
| Sat Apr 30, 2005 2:24 am |
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Pokemon Ranger   Joined: Sat Apr 02, 2005 11:09 am Posts: 974 Location: England, UK 3497 Psybucks
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YES you will J!
_________________   ![Image](http://i22.tinypic.com/15mecsn.png") |
| Sat Apr 30, 2005 4:34 am |
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Ace Trainer Joined: Wed Mar 16, 2005 7:55 am Posts: 361 Location: flying with starfire
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y arent u continueing?i kinda liked it
 _________________ <center> </center><center></center>http://s11.invisionfree.com/gamefreak_f ... SF&s=&f=11 my forums great avy by kryten!! |
| Sat Apr 30, 2005 10:00 pm |
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Pokemon Master Joined: Sun Apr 10, 2005 9:55 am Posts: 1456 Location: Stafford, UK
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ok i'll continue it, but some of the characters have changed so i could work kryten into the story
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| Sun May 01, 2005 1:57 am |
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Pokemon Master Joined: Sun Apr 10, 2005 9:55 am Posts: 1456 Location: Stafford, UK
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here is part three, pleeze review:
Martin, Jamie and Misty have just left the pokemoncenter and are now walking through Viridian Forest, Last edited by 2x4b on Fri Jun 10, 2005 7:08 am, edited 1 time in total. |
| Sun May 01, 2005 2:00 am |
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Ace Trainer Joined: Wed Mar 16, 2005 7:55 am Posts: 361 Location: flying with starfire
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hmmmm....not too bad i guess....i really love the evee
7/10 _________________ <center> </center><center></center>http://s11.invisionfree.com/gamefreak_f ... SF&s=&f=11 my forums great avy by kryten!! |
| Sun May 01, 2005 6:37 pm |
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Pokemon Master Joined: Sun Apr 10, 2005 9:55 am Posts: 1456 Location: Stafford, UK
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heres part four please review:
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| Mon May 02, 2005 2:00 pm |
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Ace Trainer Joined: Wed Mar 16, 2005 7:55 am Posts: 361 Location: flying with starfire
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ooo,battle!!i like it alot:)....
8.5/10 _________________ <center> </center><center></center>http://s11.invisionfree.com/gamefreak_f ... SF&s=&f=11 my forums great avy by kryten!! |
| Mon May 02, 2005 6:45 pm |
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Pokemon Master Joined: Sun Apr 10, 2005 9:55 am Posts: 1456 Location: Stafford, UK
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heres part five, thanks for the reviews:
As they entered pewter, jamie slowed down to talk to martin who was walking behind him and misty |
| Tue May 03, 2005 8:52 am |
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Pokemon Master Joined: Wed Jan 05, 2005 2:58 pm Posts: 1015 Location: New York, United States
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I also rated you, be careful of the technical stuff, such as grammar, captilization etc. But do keep going!
_________________ I signed in on 18 April 2017, after pretty much not visiting this site for 7 years. Crazy. When will I update this signature next? Who knows. |
| Tue May 03, 2005 9:06 am |
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Pokemon Master Joined: Sun Apr 10, 2005 9:55 am Posts: 1456 Location: Stafford, UK
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o.k thanks truestar, but my co-author kryten is working on that
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| Tue May 03, 2005 9:19 am |
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Pokemon Master Joined: Sun Apr 10, 2005 9:55 am Posts: 1456 Location: Stafford, UK
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ok heres part six, keep them reviews comin:
As they entered the gym someone shouted to them from behind |
| Tue May 03, 2005 1:24 pm |
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Ace Trainer Joined: Wed Mar 16, 2005 7:55 am Posts: 361 Location: flying with starfire
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kryten2x4b wrote: jamie then began kicking him in the stomach, and to finish it he picked ash up and kneed him in the groin  .
8.5/10 _________________ <center> </center><center></center>http://s11.invisionfree.com/gamefreak_f ... SF&s=&f=11 my forums great avy by kryten!! |
| Tue May 03, 2005 7:44 pm |
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Pokemon Master Joined: Sun Apr 10, 2005 9:55 am Posts: 1456 Location: Stafford, UK
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heres part seven, thanks for the reviews:
Jamie woke up in a hospital bed, |
| Wed May 04, 2005 4:08 am |
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Ace Trainer Joined: Wed Mar 16, 2005 7:55 am Posts: 361 Location: flying with starfire
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HAHAHAHA!!omg that funny....
9/10 _________________ <center> </center><center></center>http://s11.invisionfree.com/gamefreak_f ... SF&s=&f=11 my forums great avy by kryten!! |
| Wed May 04, 2005 2:10 pm |
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Pokemon Master Joined: Sun Apr 10, 2005 9:55 am Posts: 1456 Location: Stafford, UK
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thanks for the reviews, theres a bit of romance in part eight
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| Wed May 04, 2005 2:49 pm |
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Pokemon Ranger Joined: Sat Apr 02, 2005 11:09 am Posts: 974 Location: England, UK 3497 Psybucks
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Keep working 2x4b! Go kryterz!
_________________ |
| Thu May 05, 2005 8:54 am |
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Pokemon Master Joined: Sun Apr 10, 2005 9:55 am Posts: 1456 Location: Stafford, UK
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ok heres part eight, thanks for the reviews:
They all entered the pokemoncenter, and then brock got a funny look on his face as he saw a nurse joy run past and he started to float after her, |
| Thu May 05, 2005 8:56 am |
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Ace Trainer Joined: Wed Mar 16, 2005 7:55 am Posts: 361 Location: flying with starfire
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awwwwwww,how sweet
9.5/10 _________________ <center> </center><center></center>http://s11.invisionfree.com/gamefreak_f ... SF&s=&f=11 my forums great avy by kryten!! |
| Thu May 05, 2005 6:01 pm |
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Pokemon Master Joined: Sun Apr 10, 2005 9:55 am Posts: 1456 Location: Stafford, UK
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heres part nine, keep them reviews comin:
The next morning, brock and martin were sat around the camp fire looking at the spot where jamie and misty had walked off, martin stood up and said to brock |
| Sat May 07, 2005 3:11 am |
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