This is a book that I am writing. I figured I would try it out here, and get some more ideas. I would like to eventualy try to get this published, so I need as much help as I can get.
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Some strange words-
Shybi-pronounced SHEE-BEE- a small ape, more inteligent than humans. They have arms that apper to be longer than they should be. The tallest Shybi stood only 4 feet tall.

Ghasryk-pronounced GAS-RICK- captin Sthann's ship. Lokk s huge, considering he's only 3 feet tall.

I will add more words as they come up.
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CHARACTERS

Arther Fitzgibon-Arther loves to make money. He'd probly set his house on fire, if he was paid enough.

Gregory L. Goldman- Arther's partner. Often gets over excited.

Doctor Edgar G. Roxynhead-pronounced ROCKS-IN HEAD- A very bright Shybien sientist. Perhaps even smarter than Einstine.
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Prolog
The End of the Shybis

December 8, 1451

"SHHHHHHHHHH!! Do you want to wake the entier village?" said Arther in a loud wisper.
"Sorry Art," replyed Gregory ", I get so excited before a big pay."
"Well just try to contain theeself, eh"
"Will do, Art"
They continued through the silent village. It was a cold night, and the men just wanted to get their gold and go home.

With in an hour, Arther and Gregory arrived at the castle. Arther knocked on the gate. The gate slowly rose, and the men steped inside. They walked down the hall to a large, red door. The door opened and the men steped inside. They walked over to a table, an old man leaned across.
"Is it done?" he asked.
Yes", replyed Arther", The Shybis are gone."

you should always put 2 out of what...10 or a 100, or 5!

anyway i give it a 2/10....mate it needs mayor work....same reasons as here my partner SF....

~BF

It could really turn out to be good, very interesting. 8)

looks interesting,but post more of it


5/10

I relize that it is too short. What would you like to know? What kinds of things do you want explained more?

By chapter 2 you will see why the prolog was writen as the prolog.

[quote=eragon]
I relize that it is too short. What would you like to know? What kinds of things do you want explained more?
[/quote]

umm,everything!!what r they talkin about?

Well, I believe Eragon's technique is to get people to come back for more, due to lack of information. If you don't know a lot, and you hear there's more, more than likely you'll go back.

Interesting method, but does need more.
6/10

Erm... Yeah!!

The actuel story takes place in 2053. The prologe is what the humans think happend to the Shybis. The rest of the story is about the Shybis, and their trip to find the humans.

are u gonna do more of it?i want to find out what was up with the people!

I can't really rate that because it's a bit too short. But if you really want one i'd give it a



2.5/5. Since rubypoke is using Staryu i shall use starmie, and occasionally a staryu for half-points.

Sounds Suspensfull
But I do agree that it's to short to rate.
It still sounds good though

well i kinda understand it cause Eragon told me bout it it dodes sound intersesting but Eragon can ya put in chapter 1 already
Yeah i would give it a ohh 5/10 I thinks that it is a well but short writen prologe(bad spelling).