Granted, you get .
I wish for my very own pet narwhal.

Granted, it hates you.

I wish my printer didn't print a yellow object green.

Granted. It prints yellow objects yellow. It also prints objects of all other colors, including black, in yellow.

I wish that it was November 22nd and I could listen obsessively to this song on my iPod instead of on YouTube.

Granted, you listen to it for hours and hours and get sick of it before the end of the day.

I wish I didn't have to wake up early tomorrow (it's a weekend! Weekends are for sleeping in!).

Granted, you woke up late, and after that, you late at everything.
I wish i could speak and type correctly in English.

Granted, but only in English.

I wish torchie will never be inactive again for 2 or more weeks.

(Hahaha. I was never inactive for more than three days.)
Granted, but I permanently don't return, like DNA.
I wish for some fishing rods.

(It still seemed like you were totally inactive)
Granted, but the fish that you catch break the rod.

I wish I did not feel like sleeping every time I'm in history class.

Granted, but you do in every other class.
I wish that I was a better artist.

Granted, but all your art is stolen and sold for a buck each. You hans also get absorbed back into your body.

I wish for a plate of spagetti.

Granted, but you choke on the spaghetti.

I wish I was done with my homework.

Granted, but you & your homework are also "done for". (Hurray for English idiots idioms!)
I wish I can get every single game I want to appear in my laptop (virus-free)! (I have a feeling that I'm not the first one to wish this wish)

Granted, but only the demo, not the game itself.
I wish that i could see anything in the radius of 100 kilometers.

Granted, but you know cant see the wolf pakc thats surrounding you (dont just stand there ,RUN!!!!!!!)

I wish thundawave didnt make me choke on my spaghetti... (WHY!!!)

Granted, but now you choke on the meatballs in the spaghetti...AND the fork you're using
I wish that our wishes will actually come true without the effects of the backfire (I really got a scanner a day after I wished for it here)

Granted, but it won't be called "Backfire" anymore, instead, it was called "Wish Come True".
I wish i am a really good blacksmith.

Granted, you are so good that you but all other blacksmiths out of buisness and you end up not being able to handle the work load, so you quit to work at macdonalds.

I wish for a wish.

Granted, wish for it now, but I'm not sure that if it could be a reality.
I wish for every latest comic book. Manga, preferably.

Granted, they fill up every single corner of your house and you can't move around in it.

I wish for a cookie.

Granted, you also got a huge serving of arsenic.
I wish for my parents will return immediately so I don't need to endure the week with my...more-than-half-a-century-older-than-me relatives.

Granted, but your relatives move in with you.

I wish for Pi.

Granted, but it's splattered on your face. (Hurray for homonyms!)
I wish that my network would be "pay less, get a LOAD more", saving our money when also be steady?safe & extremely fast & won't offend anybody. (Because it seems like this wish had been made & backfired several times I need to make it longer)

Granted, but i have no idea what your talking about, so I just give you a penny.

I wish for knight.

Granted, The Dark Knight, but it was too busy saving this world from crimes.
I wish i will never be sick.

Granted, you're dead now. No more sickness!
I wish there all virus, spyware, etc would vanish from the world, leaving our computers safe & sound.