Granted, you are deported to an alien planet where wishing for anything ending with -tion and in caps will earn you an instant beheading. Then your head would slowly attach itself to your body again, but you'll be beheaded again, and this cycle would repeat endlessly. (Hello Prometheus)

(fyi twistedturtwig, I haven't even read The Son of Neptune (well maybe except the sample chapter on the official site) much less being able to give away spoilers)
I wish that Rick Riordan would move next door so I can stalk him personally experience his awesomeness.

Granted, but since I don't know what Rick Riordan looks like, I gave you Jim Carry, hoping a demented actor/comedian would be enough for you.

I wish for a good backfire. And it has to be good for my benefit. It can't be bad at all.

Granted, but since you pretty much just broke the rules, so will I. BACKFIRED! Everyone hates you for making that wish, and you are kicked off the planet, left to float in space.

Umm... Argonaut457 you forgot to make a wish.

((Sorry SL. For some reason I thought you said that you had already read it, and I didn't understand the thing about the crimson paint and red paper clip))

Oops..... silly me!
I wish I had made a wish, so I wouldn't have looked like an idiot right now...

(oops. Sorry for breaking the rules. )
Granted. You wished for a deadly spitter cobra, which spat poison in your eyes, leaving you blind for eternity.
I wish for a lion that loved me, yet hated my enemies that look nothing like me, so the lion won't get confused. ANd I'll never tick off the lion.

granted but now you cleen his mega big litter box all day and you have no time any thing else

I wish I knew what I thought I did.

Granted. You thought you drunk and drive, so now you are in jail.
I wish my new ememy-eating lion didn't need such a big litter box, maybe house-cat size. That's what he needs.

Granted; that's what he needs, but the size of his poop grows so large that it quickly overflows out of the litter box. Should've invested in a bigger one

I wish i wasn't such a procrastinator.

Granted. You now do everything quickly, leaving yourself to complete boredom, so you become depressed. Your depression leads you to smoking and drinking, so you get Fatty Liver and lung cancer. You commit suicide in your hospital bed. ( I spent a long time working on that!)

I wish I had that litter-box sifter,y'know, the bag that you line around the litter box, and when you clean the box, all you have to do is pick up the bag, and it's netted like fishnet, so it sifts out all the clean litter back into the box, so you can dump the bag with the feces in it. I wish I had that for my lion's litter box.

Granted, i give it too you... But it's filled with peanut butter..... Lots of peanut butter...

Now I want some, too... I wish for lots of peanut butter....

Granted, but I left your peanut butter in the freezer, so its a block of rock-solid peanut butter.

I wish my litter box sifter bags weren't defective in any way, shape or form. (you'll find a way...)

Granted, they're so perfect that you die since you're not worthy enough to be in the litter box bag's presense

i wish my school would be wiser with their money and buy reasonable things instead of buying something stupid (seriously, my school is poor!)

Granted, but their blueberry, and when the berries were grown in the farm, they were sprayed with pesticides. Those pesticides had arsenic in them. Plus you hate blueberries, so you can't eat the pancakes.

I wish I was the least bit mature.

(@twistedturtwig: About the paint and paper clip...check out my previous wish)

Granted, but in order to become less mature you reverse the flow of time and space thus making Dialga and Palkia MAAAAAAAAAAAAAD.

I wish that Bat Master would just revive his Werewolf game already.

((Ohhh, I get it now. Sorry. ))

Granted, but then Bat Master has a heart attack from thinking too hard for the next puzzle, and he dies a tragic death. This is all your fault.

I wish for some homemade funnel cake.

Granted. Now she kills humans. But she loves squirrels now, so all is well with the world.

I wish that people would get over the whole "PIKACHU IS OVERRATED HURR DURR" thing; it's retarded.

Granted but now there's no pokemon available to hate, so they choose Dragonite at random, and now Dragonite becomes hated by kids everywhere, and Gamefreak must remove its coding from the game to keep everyone happy. And with him gone, all of pokemon becomes nothing but those 'beastly' and tough pokes instead of the soft, cute, and whimpy pokes. Nice going

I wish I was on the news, for a good reason

Dragonite is tough :O

Granted. That good reason is you rebuilt your house, by hand, after it was torn down by a tornado, flood, and fire all at the same time (the flood put out the fire that the tornado started). It took you twenty years of nonstop work, so be glad that it's done!

I wish braces weren't so prone to getting stuff caught in them.

Granted, I predicted that the world wouldn't end in 2012. I was wrong

I wish I was right earlier