Granted, but the sun still goes supernova. It inevetable, its gonna happen. Maybe not today, maybe not tommorow, but someday, its gonna go supernova.And burn Earth to crisp.
*GREAT FOR MAKIN SMORES!*

I wish for knowledge.

(Seriously, Mr. Dude?! How did you know the binturong made it to my top favorite animals list just a week ago- Ooh it's on now!)
Granted, you became ruler of Bolivia but the people get so annoyed with Mr. Dude constantly reading their minds with some mysterious Psychic power that they all packed up and left, leaving you a lonely monarch only accompanied by sleepy gerbils and carnivorous snails.

I wish that Mr. Dude would be deprived of all his Psychic powers and his evil ability to make people laugh hysterically when reading about his sadistic loving sibship with his little brother. Also, he shall not receive any new ability and he must spend the rest of his life living in a cardboard box twistedturtolling unsuspecting passersby.

Granted. Here's a tub' a toothpaste.

I wish that Estella would go back to Ms. Havisham and stop annoying Pip.

Granted. I have no idea what your talking about, so you get annoyed by the person thats annoying Pip.

I wish for less wishes and more washes.

Granted, but I'm feeling wishy-washy, so I won't grant your wish.

I wish that GofD had read Great Expectations and actually knew what I was talking about.

Granted, but after reading the first few chapters, I find that I dont like the book and BURN IT! And I use the fire to make me some Smores. MMMMmmmmm Smores.

I wish for Marshmellows, im all out. ..

Granted, we get the Stay-Puft Man to kill you, for burning a literary classic.

I wish more people enjoyed reading - the world would be better for it.

Granted but they become so bored reading that they become zombies and attack Rex and I, the only people who don't get bored while reading, so we end up trying to board ourselves up in a house, Nazi Zombie style (which I played for the first time tonight, getting past all of three rounds ).

I wish I was allowed to play more violent video games.

Granted, but I have the last copy on earth. Since its the last copy on earth, its price skyrocketed. You can have it, if you got the $$$$.

I wish for this to backfired so much, that the backfire becomes a good thing

Granted. Here you... Oh wait, I ate it.

I wish that it would rain lolipops for MR. Dude.

Granted, but it goes quite similarly to the plot of the book "Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs" and his house is crushed by gigantic sugary treats. He then escapes by building a bread and pizza raft and sails away. But he still got his lollipop though!

I wish that it rained regular-sized, non-poisonous, non-expired, good-tasting food every day for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

Granted, it rains regular sized food, but it rains 7 FEET of that food EVERY MINUTE so everyone dies by chocolate

I wish I would die a very quick and painless death and when I'm very old, so I get to enjoy a full life before dying

You push it too far so it ends up sticking to your clothes, staying there for about 5 seconds, then falling to the dirty floor. Smooth move.

I wish that everyone thought I had the world's smallest violin so that I could pretend to play it for people whenever they baw. And while I'm at it, I'd like to have the world's smartest violin too, but for real.

Granted, but only I can use it.

I wish I wasn't so harsh on teh noobs.

Granted. But your allergic to the snuggie, and now no one will snuggle with you.
I wish for a snuggle.

Granted, a Ferrothorn happily jumps into your lap and snuggle with you. Want bandages?

I wish that posting in the Kanto Safari Zone counts toward my post count (I've been stuck at 91 FOREVER because I was too lazy to post anything constructive).

Granted, but it already DOES add to the post count, so instead it now DOESNT anymore :)

I wish I could finish reading my book I have to read for school in 5 minutes, and I knew the book enough to get a 100 on my test

Granted, You read the book in 5 minutes, and know enough to get 100%. One slight problem though. YOU READ THE WRONG BOOK!
COMANCE PANICING! *alrams sound*

I wish for a mass psypoke gathering at a random location.