To whoever suggested Breloom,
I hate you.As of this posting, I'm level-grinding before the Elite Four and it's painful. "Only 7 more levels to go", as I like to teasingly tell Habby, but she's holding everyone up. Sacrama is a probable exception as he's in the daycare and a few levels behind (level 45, to be accurate), but still...Habby is holding everyone up. I could take them on right now if I wasn't aiming for Spore Breloom.
This had better be worth it.Edit: I might as well tell you now - there are projected to be
14 chapters in all, and that includes 1 very brief post-game one.
But enough of my depressing thoughts - here's a new chapter.
Oh, whaddya know - this is the one with plot.
~~~
[Back to Top]DNA's Dolo Run of Pokémon Ruby!
Chapter 10: Magma Cult VS Spoon Pirates 2: The Saltening
Yeah, you read the title. I was really tempted to put 'Electric Boogaloo' in it, but I have decency.
So, remember when I said I was taking the cheater's way out? Well, the dive cavity on Route 127 starts right at where Routes 126 and 127 connect (which is also not that far from Mossdeep either) and goes all the way, uninterrupted and without wild encounters, down the route and into Route 128, where the entrance to the Seafloor Cavern is. There are also a few items to be snagged as well!
Wait, false alarm. It's further east of where 126 and 127 connect. That one is a much smaller one. Everything else I said is correct, though.
<+DNA> hey look
<+DNA> Submarine Explorer 1
<+DNA> looks like we found Kaiser's ride, guys
<Dunce> you realize we're underwater, right?
<+DNA> olol
<+DNA> k let's surface then we talk
*** DNA has entered #seafloorcavern
It's weird that, when I first played this game (I was 12 or so) I didn't think to use Dive to resurface right where the submarine was (instead I went outside the tiny little cave and ended up back on Route 128); it took me quite a while to figure it out - but I had no problems whatsoever resurfacing in Sootopolis, which I did long before in that playthrough. To this day I can't explain it.
<+DNA> oh look
<+DNA> it has the same music as Mt Chimney and the Weather Institute's hostile takeover
<+DNA> this most likely means Magma Cult is here
<+DNA> let's go inside
<Ray> uh, DNA?
<Ray> we're going to need Rock Smash for this
<+DNA> really? damn!
<+DNA> okay I need to go back and get Slave 0. Who volunteers to stay behind?
<Ray> I volunteer Sacrama
<Crumpets> I agree.
<Dunce> ^
<Footloose> ^
<Slave1> ^
<Sacrama> I hate you all
<Footloose> put a sock in it, you big punching bag
<Sacrama> why can't YOU stay behind?
<Footloose> because without a girl, this whole party just becomes weird and gay.
<Footloose> You need at least ONE chick. And I'm your chick.
* Footloose shifts hips.
<Footloose> You, on the other hand, have to lose half your HP to do anything, and DNA hasn't picked up any Leftovers. Right now you are the weakest link.
<Footloose> Come on, bro. Take one for the team.
<Dunce> Her logic is absolutely flawless.
<Ray> ^
<Crumpets> ^
<+DNA> welp, brb PC
It is indeed a scientific fact that a party of mostly males needs at least 1 female to balance it out, otherwise the whole thing becomes weird and gay. I would leave Dunce behind, but he pretty much roflstomps Magma Cult with STAB Earthquake and Surf, both of which will serve me well. And Footloose does have flawless logic.
<KoN> YOU again?
<+DNA> well, at least now you guys will be gone for good
<+DNA> and your suffering will end!
<KoN> We're the last clones left...
<KoN> We have to at least PRETEND to try
<+DNA> that's nice
That guy opened with a lv. 37 Poochyena. Granted, that means their average levels are above mine, but it's Magma Cult, so I don't need to be worried. The hilarious bit is, when he lost, he said "I want to go home...". Fitting.
<Meaty> before I die
<Meaty> I want one last wish
<+DNA> if it's 'play Vanguard', the answer's no
<Meaty> damn.
<Meaty> worth a shot.
Ray just OHKOs stuff with just Double Kick; it's amazing. The next grunt upon losing said "Losing makes me sore!" which is also fitting. I waited for Sacrama to say 'kinky', but he's boxed. Sucks to be him!
I want to explore every last bit of this place so I can roflstomp every Magma Cultist I see. The hardest bit is the side path right by the entrance, since a mis-step can kick you back out of the dungeon. Sillier still, when you get to the bit where the two paths connect, you have to exit and re-enter the room from the 'correct' way in order to progress. Then it diverges AGAIN, though at that point it doesn't matter, though one of the water puzzles can kick you back to the start.
(From the room with the criss-crossing paths with boulders at the intersections, take the path off to the right; it won't send you back to the entrance if you mess up.)
(Then, when you get to the room with the criss-crossing boulders, start on the right, and push the bottom-left boulder down 1 space to make it easier. Then, push the top-left boulder up 1 space, into the corner. Walk north 1 space and east 1 space, then face south, and push that boulder down 1 space. Walk south 1 and east 1, then push that boulder you're facing east 1 space. Walk east 1 and north 1, then turn east, and push that boulder into the wall. You should be past this puzzle now.)
<Hurricane> You again?
<Hurricane> How did you get here without a submarine?
<+DNA> HMs, bitch
<+DNA> also, Gyarados
<Hurricane> How did you even fit through that entrance with a Gyarados?
<+DNA> game logic
<+DNA> ...that is literally the only explanation I have.
<Hurricane> damn.
<+DNA> your leader is up ahead, isn't he?
<+DNA> I have a score to settle with him.
<Hurricane> I'm under contract not to reveal his name, but...
<Hurricane> when you see him, it won't be pretty.
<+DNA> In that case, let's fight for the last time, and I can kick you out of this game.
<Hurricane> I couldn't be happier.
PMJ was none the wiser. Courtney/Hurricane opens with a lv. 38 Camerupt, which is 2HKO'd by Ray's Double Kick (though it did get a Rock Slide off). Her Mightyena's also lv. 38, and it's crit by the first half of Ray's Double Kick. Ray crits a lot, it seems. And with that, Hurricane is expelled from this universe. Tabitha is nowhere to be seen, probably because I pushed him into the water and he wasn't rescued since everyone left the cult hideout.
After her is 1 more boulder puzzle. At this point, Ray's Cleanse Tag apparently stops working, because I'm being swarmed by Zubat. Here's how to clear this puzzle:
~At the bottom set of 3, push the left and right ones up 1 square. Push the middle one to the left or right 1 square (doesn't matter which way).
~Walk forward into the new opening. You should have 2 boulders on your left and 2 on your right. Push the boulder to your north 1 space north.
~Walk forward (north) 1 square. Push the boulders to your left and right 1 square each (into the wall). At this point, there should be 5 boulders in a horizontal line ahead of you.
~Counting from the left, push the 2nd and 4th boulders one square north each (into the wall). Then push the 3rd (middle) boulder either left or right 1 square. The door should now be open to you. Your reward is a misty room with TM26 Earthquake.
<+DNA> ooh, mist.
<+DNA> is there a hint there's plot up ahead?
<+DNA> I hope it's cherry flavored!
<Footloose> That makes no sense.
<+DNA> no you
<Ray> hey guys
<Ray> um
<Ray> is it normal for lava to be underwater?
<+DNA> No; why?
<Ray> because there's a very big pool of lava ahead.
<Ray> and there's what looks like a fossilized bird inside of it.
<+DNA> A fossilized bird? okay what
<+DNA> since when does Groudon look like a bir-
<+DNA> ... ...
<+DNA> that's not Groudon, is it
<@MagmaBoss> No, it's not.
<+DNA> ...you!
<@MagmaBoss> You're right; it's not Groudon at all.
<@MagmaBoss> Behold! See how beautiful it is, the sleeping form of the powerful Fletchling!
<+DNA> Fletchling?
<+DNA> the guy I drowned at the end of Dolo Pearl?
<@MagmaBoss> Yes! The very same.
<+DNA> wat
<@MagmaBoss> After you drowned him, he sunk to the depths of the ocean, where his dormant body was carried here, to the Seafloor Cavern. I have waited so long for this day to come...
<@MagmaBoss> It surprises me, how you've managed to chase me here. But that's all over now.
<+DNA> you know what surprises me more? you.
<+DNA> I can feel it, the grudge coming from you. You hate me so much...from something I did in Sinnoh. And I suppose you both hate me for similar reasons...
<+DNA> enough so that you would try to use the Blue Orb to reawaken him.
<@MagmaBoss> Yes, but there's more. Dread Lord Fletchling caused mass destruction in his wake back in times of yore, raining terror, destruction, and dryness down from the skies. Everything was desecrated; nothing was safe!
<+DNA> ...
<+DNA> ohgawd
<+DNA> the salt IS real
<@MagmaBoss> Yes it is! Together Fletchling and I will drown Hoenn, your favourite region, in a storm of salt! And for the realization of my dream, you must disappear now!
<+DNA> you despicable...
* DNA reaches out his hand
<+DNA> take off...that STUPID hood!
... ...
I should have seen this coming...
...but now it's too late, isn't it...
<+DNA> wait, no way...
<+DNA> you're...!
<Dunce> A friend of yours, DNA?
<Footloose> I don't recognize him - you two have a history?
<Crumpets> DNA, he chased us all the way here from Sinnoh?
<Crumpets> Wasn't there a phrase you used to describe him, when he committed a despicable act?
<+DNA> you... you...
<+DNA> SCUMBAG TEAPOT!!
Magma Cult Leader Teapot would like to battle.
His opener lv. 41 Mightyena used Swagger on Footloose, who bravely offered to take the lead, causing her following Hi Jump Kick to be an OHKO. Sadly she couldn't carry that on, as he sent out a lv. 41 Crobat next. I responded in kind with my own Crobat, who despite being 5 levels lower, still outsped and used Confuse Ray. Teapot decided to go on the offensive right away, using Wing Attack, but the level difference is a bit too big for me to just go all in. Besides, it's Crumpets.
It doesn't take long for Teapot to drop a Super Potion (before his own Crobat even hit orange, actually), but then Crumpets' Wing Attack scored a crit, dropping the other Crobat in the orange. This was followed up with a 2nd Super Potion. (I didn't see a 3rd.) Repeated Wing Attacks eventually cause Teapot's Crobat to crumble. His last Pokemon is a lv. 43 Camerupt, and to put him out of his misery, I let Dunce handle this. He does so flawlessly - Surf OHKOs. And with that...he's done.
<@Teapot> dammit!
<@Teapot> this was my one chance to prove myself better than you!
<@Teapot> without you ninja'ing me or screwing everything up!
<@Teapot> I beat you to the punch with EVERYTHING! And I STILL lost!
<@Teapot> Pride must really enjoy watching me suffer...
<+DNA> I'm pretty sure Pride's drunk off his ass
<+DNA> I know this because he hasn't picked up his phone in ages
<@Teapot> but it's not over yet.
<@Teapot> You may have beaten me, but that doesn't mean I can't drown Hoenn in salt!
* Teapot holds up the Blue Orb
<Fletchling> CHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRP
*** Fletchling has left #seafloorcavern
<@Teapot> he just ran off!?
<@Teapot> is the warranty on this thing expired!?
<+DNA> them mythological artifacts
<+DNA> can't do anything with them once their 3000-year warranty expires amirite?
<@Teapot> hm, looks like i'm getting a call from the Meaty clones outside
<@Teapot> yes, what is it?
<@Teapot> there's salt raining from the sky?
<@Teapot> well, yeah. we just awakened Fletchling. of course salt is raining from the sky.
<@Teapot> what!?
<@Teapot> it's accompanied by intense sunlight?
<@Teapot> it's causing everyone to sweat profusely?
<@Teapot> all the salt is causing your Vanguard cards to warp out of near-mint condition!?
<@Teapot> FFS NO ONE CARES ABOUT VANGUARD
<+DNA> HA
<+DNA> GET SALT, MEATY
<+DNA> LITERALLY
<@Teapot> Hold your position and monitor the situation!
<@Teapot> stupid clones
<@Teapot> stupid expired warranty
<@Teapot> IF YOU HAD ACTUALLY PAID THAT FINE OF 1 MILLION DOLLARS, DNA
<@Teapot> WAY BACK IN TWINLEAF TOWN
<@Teapot> I WOULDN'T HAVE TO BE SO CHEAP
<+DNA> ...exactly how is this my fault
<@Teapot> if you think about it, pretty much EVERYTHING so far is your fault
<Ray> you know? I think he's right
<Ray> you're like a villain protagonist
<Ray> beating up every NPC you see with no thought to their safety, and taking their money
<+DNA> in short, every Pokemon game ever
<+DNA> get salt, fanbase
<+DNA> join me in Hoenn where I may drink your ever-saltier tears
*** Spoon_Pirates have joined #seafloorcavern
<@HeavenlySpoon> What have you wrought?
<@HeavenlySpoon> Teapot... You've finally awoken Fletchling, haven't you?
<@HeavenlySpoon> What will happen to the world if this salt continues for all eternity?
<+DNA> This would be tragic if it didn't sound so silly
<@HeavenlySpoon> The world's seas will all dry up and disappear...
<+DNA> or just become like the Dead Sea
<+DNA> where nothing lives and everything floats
<+DNA> goodbye, HMs 3 and 8
<@Teapot> What are you saying?
<@Teapot> The Blue Orb should let me control Fletchling... That can't be possible...
<@HeavenlySpoon> Did you check the warranty?
<@Teapot> ...
<+DNA> LOL
<+DNA> I was joking but I didn't know I was right
<@HeavenlySpoon> Regardless, we don't have the time to argue about it here!
<@HeavenlySpoon> Get outside and see for yourself! See if what you've wrought is the world that you desired!
<@HeavenlySpoon> DNA, come on, you have to get out of here, too!
As per Spoon's beckoning, we all head outside. The sun is ludicrously bright outside and shows no signs of stopping, but as was spoken before, salt is falling from the sky, everywhere. Packets of salt (hahaha) are starting to build up into small piles, mostly on the eddies, spilling into the sea. The depth of the water has decreased as well, due to the salt not dissolving as fast as it's precipitating.
<@Teapot> this
<@Teapot> this can't be real
<+DNA> oh, but it is, my friend.
<+DNA> the salt is real.
<@HeavenlySpoon> Do you understand now, Teapot? Do you finally see how disastrous your dream turned out to be?
<@HeavenlySpoon> We have to hurry! We have to do something before the situation goes completely out of control!
<+DNA> I agree
<+DNA> not only will everyone in Hoenn be totally buttmad about everything, but salt jokes will abound.
<+DNA> and that would get very boring very fast.
<@HeavenlySpoon> DNA... We, the Spoon Pirates, had been pursuing Magma Cult to prevent this from happening. You've been very helpful, but I fear the worst has happened... It's gone too far for someone like you to manage...
<@HeavenlySpoon> Leave things to us, and get out of here while you still can!
<+DNA> the guy who drinks salty tears for a living?
<+DNA> bitch please
<+DNA> I can handle Fletchscrub
<+DNA> Believe in me, who believes in myself.
<@HeavenlySpoon> I certainly hope you're right. This defies belief... A super-dreadful Pokemon... Its power is unbelievable. It has upset the balance of the interwebs...
*** CMP has joined #route
<CMP> DNA! what the hell's going on?
<CMP> there's salt everywhere and riots are breaking out in the streets!
<+DNA> apparently Fletchling floated all the way here after he drowned
<+DNA> after Teapot forcibly woke him up, he intensified the sun and caused it to rain endless salt from the sky
<+DNA> come to think of it, this means Sootopolis City will get even bigger
<CMP> if Fletchling isn't stopped, the whole world will be salty.
<Ray> pffffffffft
<Ray> I can't believe you can say that with a straight face
<CMP> It's not easy.
<CMP> Speaking of Sootopolis...the salt cloud seems to be centered there. Maybe that's where Fletchling is hiding?
<+DNA> wouldn't surprise me.
<CMP> I'll go there ahead of you. Meet me there when you're ready. Be careful - with someone who can just generate salt at will, this will not be an easy fight.
*** CMP has left #route
<+DNA> welp guys
<+DNA> know what we're going to do next?
<Dunce> Stop the salt?
<+DNA> later
<Dunce> Later!?
<+DNA> we need to train you guys up first.
<+DNA> besides, I actually feed on salt, so it's not a big deal.
<+DNA> we'll go train on a few of the places we missed, and then once that's all done, we'll go stop the salt cloud. sound good?
<Footloose> You really should watch your sodium intake.
<Ray> I forgot about your tendency to make people salty.
<+DNA> and there's another salt pun right on schedule.
<+DNA> welp, time to go
I'm a horrible person, postponing ending the apocalypse in favor of experience points. Get salt, pun intended.
I only need to explore Routes 127 and 128 for this, and since the sun is shining brightly (and I'm forever shocked why there is never any natural bright sunlight in Hoenn - just intense rain), this is a good opportunity for Ray to just OHKO all of the things. And since I am awesome, I will also list what items I find that are not underwater (all I found was a Star Piece and a Heart Scale, iirc). Like the last one, this isn't in any particular order.
- HP Up (Route 127, underwater)
- Carbos (Route 127, req. Dive)
- Red Shard (Route 127, underwater)
- Zinc (Route 127)
- Pearl (Route 128, underwater)
- Protein (Route 128, underwater)
I lied.
I also attempted to get into Ever Grande City, but then I remembered Waterfall was needed. HA gg DNA
<Sacrama> and more salt fell from the heavens
What I find weird is in Mossdeep, as far as I can tell, no one has any different dialogue during this drought. During the training fights, I had Ray use Blaze Kick on a Gloom, and as usual, the drought was in effect. Feels good, man. Also...
<Footloose> Hey guys, I found these bell-bottom pants lying around
<Footloose> How do I look?
<+DNA> Not bad honestly, though I can't help but feel you lose something if you put them on.
<Footloose> You think so? But it's not that big of a deal...
<Haberdash> WAIT STOP
<Haberdash> please, not yet
<Haberdash> if my only friend gets buff before me, I'll feel even worse. would you mind just waiting until I can catch up?
<Footloose> ...all right, but I don't want to put this off for too long.
<+DNA> If this is what you wish.
* DNA presses B button.
I think that's the first time I've seen that happen. Whattagal. Not long after that, we're finished. I have to double back to Mossdeep City because I forgot I need Dive to get back into Sootopolis. Accursed HMs. Thankfully, Slave 1 and Whiscash traded off without complaint.
Okay, NOW things are different. Everyone, except for the Pokemon Center and Mart attendants, now has different dialogue, and everyone's houses are shut tight - nobody's outside; the only people you can talk to are those inside the Poke Centers and Marts, and ...well, these people that progress the plot.
<CMP> DNA!
<+DNA> CMP!
<CMP> What took you so long?
<+DNA> I was...
* DNA flex
<+DNA> ...working out my mental muscles.
<CMP> Nice.
<CMP> Anyway, there's someone I'd like you to talk to.
<@bacon> DNA?
<@bacon> So it was you who witnessed the start of the Saltening?
<+DNA> the SALTENING?
<+DNA> omglol
<@bacon> yes
<@bacon> I came up with the name myself!!
<+DNA> nice
<+DNA> so how's baconlocke?
<@bacon> maybe later
<@bacon> anyway, he who holds the orb is the one who can stop the power of the Saltening
<@bacon> GIVE IT TO ME
<+DNA> NEVER
* DNA flees
* bacon chases
* bacon trips and falls
<@bacon> O n O
* DNA watches as a small pile of salt falls directly onto bacon's head
<+DNA> okay why did HW transform from an old man into now TWO women?
<HauntedWater> u mad?
<HauntedWater> the salt is real
* DNA looks behind him to the fallen bacon
<+DNA> the salt is real indeed
<+DNA> and now I must go
<+DNA> before he wakes up again
<CMP> I'll cover you! Go, bro!
<+DNA> I SHALL
<+DNA> MY PLANET NEEDS ME
I didn't use Flash because Flash is for pansies.
*** DNA has entered #caveoforigin
<Fletchling> CHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRP
<+DNA> well that's not ominous in the slightest
<Fletchling> CHIRP CHIRP MOTH******ER
<Fletchling> PRAISE MEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
<Ray> That is the creepiest-sounding bird I have ever heard in my life.
<+DNA> he's also very annoying.
<Crumpets> Perhaps he is seeking vengeance on the one who drowned him?
<+DNA> I'm pretty sure that's exactly why.
<+DNA> and the deeper we go, the more salt there i-oh look HM07 Waterfall
<Footloose> He should cut down on his sodium intake.
<Dunce> Wow, there's Mawile in here? Who knew?
<Sacrama> The smell of salt in here is so thick, it's making me want to sneeze...
<Haberdash> Now we're pretty much WALKING in salt...
<Ray> what if, by the events of Emerald, the salt buildup in here became so great that the Cave of Origin was reduced to only 2 floors?
<+DNA> it's scary how pretty much everything in this game can be explained away with salt.
The Saltening changed all our lives.
And finally we're at the bottom.
<Fletchling> DNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
<Fletchling> PRAISE MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
<Fletchling> YOU DROWNED ME IN WATER
<Fletchling> SO I WILL DROWN YOU IN SALT
<Fletchling> I AM DREAD LORD FLETCHLING
<+DNA> Still as scrubby as ever, I see...
<+DNA> But you are naught but a Pokemon before me now...
<+DNA> and just as liable to fall!
<+DNA> Prepare to sleep in my box forever!!
<Fletchling> CHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRP
<Fletchling> GET SAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALT!!!!
At this point I felt like playing Golden Sun, but I already passed Magma Rock and my opportunity to make a joke about pyros. I did that last chapter anyway. Plus, if I don't get out of here soon, I will probably drown in salt, so let's get this over with.
Fletchscrub has taken the form of Groudon, level 45 - easily outpacing the level 40 Ray. Despite that, Blaze Kick easily takes off half its health, though Ray quickly crumbles before Earthquake.
<+DNA> I only have 8 Ultra Balls
<+DNA> /lol/
<+DNA> I'm bad at this
I say this while Fletchscrub just took down Dunce. Then my finger slipped and I hit 'Run', so this is essentially my chance to soft-reset and buy more Ultra Balls. WHOOPWHOOPWHOOPWHOOPWHOOP
<Fletchling> WHERE DID YOU GOOOOOOOOOO
<Fletchling> YOU CAN'T HIIIIIIIIIIDE
<Fletchling> I WILL FIND YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOU
<Fletchling> CHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRP
<+DNA> crap the cave even rumbles as we're Zoidberging out of here!
<Sacrama> THE DAY OF SALTENING IS UPON US
*** DNA has left #caveoforigin
<@bacon> DNA you're done already?
<@bacon> then why am I still salty?
<+DNA> I'm not
<+DNA> I need to go buy more Ultra Balls lol
<@bacon> ah
<Fletchling> CHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRP
<Fletchling> CHIRP CHIRP MOTH******ER
<Fletchling> PRAISE MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
<+DNA> Fool!
<+DNA> As long as I possess the Reset Button, this battle will go on until there is an outcome that I desire!
<Fletchling> NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
The second try doesn't go as well, as Fletchscrub is just going all out with Earthquake. The main reason I found this bit so hard is that I essentially HAD to use the Master Ball before Groudon/Kyogre tore my team to pieces. It doesn't even have or need type advantage - it's too freaking powerful.
The third try is a little better (at this point, my GBA SP's power level goes to red), because I decide to open with Crumpets' Confuse Ray to buy me a bit of time, but by the time Fletchling is in the red to pelt Ultra Balls at, 3 of my team are KO'd. It never stays more than 1 wiggle, if that, and he tore into the rest of my team, so I only got 4 chances to pelt Ultra Balls. DAMN he's hard!
A lot of the subsequent runs are essentially the same - I try to chip away at Fletchling's health while he just charges at me with Earthquake or whatever. Haberdash just loves to miss with Stun Spore, and the one time she actually did make it hit, Dunce's Surf later on ended up critting the thing. I finally manage to claim victory on try #8, and nickname Fletchscrub to "Take 8" just as a funny reminder.
But I don't feel like walking all the way out again (even though I could), so I just chicken out and use an Escape Ro-DAMMIT I put them all in the PC. Welp, time to walk.
And now for some actual dialogue while I was doing this.
[8:55:28 PM] DNA: i actually found a new role for you in dolo
[8:55:40 PM] King Cutthroat: s- senpai?
[8:55:46 PM] King Cutthroat: you noticed me again?
[8:56:10 PM] King Cutthroat: a-GAIN?!?!
[8:56:36 PM] DNA: No; I just found a way for a way you could generate more salt
[8:56:48 PM] King Cutthroat: fair enough
I have photographic proof too:
[8:32:07 AM] DNA: "Haberdash used Stun Spore!"
"Haberdash's attack missed!"
you stupid little--
[8:33:16 AM] Luke Bassett: Habby stahp
[8:33:18 AM] Luke Bassett: git gud
[8:33:33 AM] DNA: and this is after she survived an earthquake
[8:33:47 AM] DNA: i think because of her i'm going to get rekt now ;-;
[8:34:06 AM] Luke Bassett: //patpat
[8:36:19 AM] DNA: DAMN and i was doing SO WELL
[8:36:34 AM] Luke Bassett: ;-;
[8:37:05 AM] DNA: take 6
[8:38:48 AM] DNA: YOU DID IT AGAIN
[8:38:57 AM] DNA: GIT GUD HABBY GDI
[8:39:17 AM] Luke Bassett: poor habby
[8:39:47 AM] DNA: she misses with stun spore so much it's stupid
[8:52:42 AM] DNA: >fire blast misses
>stun spore hits
FINALLY
[8:53:37 AM] DNA: and of course surf crits
[8:53:40 AM] DNA: i can't win
King Cutthroat = Haunted Water
Luke Bassett = Fletchling (he had no idea)
Moving on.
<HauntedWater> DNA
<HauntedWater> the salt is all gone
<+DNA> I see you're back to being an old guy again instead of 2 random women
<+DNA> got bored of the selfcest?
<HauntedWater> no
<HauntedWater> ...
<HauntedWater> yes
<+DNA> I win again
<HauntedWater> seems that way
<HauntedWater> you stopped the Saltening and saved us all.
<HauntedWater> Water and salt... They must exist in perfect balance.
<HauntedWater> If one gets too great, that balance is broken. That must never happen.
<HauntedWater> You witnessed but one side of the spectrum... The Saltening.
<HauntedWater> Though it is terrible, it's at least better than the alternative.
<+DNA> which is?
<HauntedWater> Waterworld
<+DNA> LOL
<+DNA> let this never happen
<HauntedWater> I agree
<+DNA> welp
<+DNA> now I go do protag stuff
Obviously the first thing I do is check back in at the Pokemon Center to heal my team, because Fletchling did a number on them. Speaking of which, Fletchling, now dubbed 'Take 8', has a Timid nature.
HA
no wonder there was salt everywhere
CMP thanks me for putting an end to the Saltening, as does bacon. He then invites me to challenge bacon, who is waiting within the gym, which is now unlocked. Looks like this is it!
The ice puzzles are pretty easy if you're used to that kind of thing. All you need do is step on each tile at least once. Here's how to do it (not including the very first tile stepped on):
(U/D/L/R = Up, Down, Left, Right)
First level: R-U-L-L-U-R
Second level: L-L-L-U-U-R-R-D-R-R-R-D-R-U-U-L-L-L
Third level: R-R-U-R-R-D-R-U-U-U-L-L-D-L-U-L-D-D-L-L-D-L-U-L-D-L-U-L-U-U-R-D-R-U-R-D-R-U-R
But I'm going to whiff on purpose so I can fight all the trainers. Mmm, delicious experience points. And since these are Water-types...well, Habby's going to actually eat them. With Leech Seed. And Mega Drain. nom nom nom nom
<+DNA> !challenge
<@bacon> Allow me to formally introduce myself. I am bacon, the gym leader of Sootopolis. There's something about you... A difference in your demeanor. I think I sense that in you.
<@bacon> What happened inside the Cave of Origin, and what you did, I will likely learn through our upcoming battle. Now, show me. Show me the power you wield with your Pokemon.
<@bacon> And I, in turn, shall present you with a performance of illusions in water by me and my Pokemon!
<+DNA> I think that's the most serious I've ever seen you
<@bacon> I have to save it all up to meet quota
<+DNA> makes sense
I know I'm getting close; I'm fighting bacon of all people. He proceeds to bamboozle me, as usual, by opening with a lv. 40 Luvdisc. I open with Crumpets who does his Confuse Ray thing, and bacon is most impressed by the Crobat's classiness. So is the Luvdisc, apparently, as it's KOd before it ever gets an attack off. That's 1 of...5 done? Dang this is going to take a while.
Next is a lv. 40 Sealeo, and to be daring, I have Footloose handle it. I'm a genius, since HJK crit the Sealeo, KOing it instantly. HJK, funnily enough, has yet to miss. A lv. 42 Whiscash is next, and I know that's easily Habby's domain. She mixes things up, doing Stun Spore before Leech Seed - meanwhile, the Whiscash used Amnesia twice, making it hard to damage. I try Mega Drain, hoping for something...about 15%. The Whiscash then uses Earthquake against Habby for about 40%, so I'll have to rely more on Headbutt - which actually did less. Habby gets the Whiscash into the red, and that prompts bacon to use a Hyper Potion, which is good, because it doesn't get rid of what's really hurting it. Eventually it goes down, and I don't see another Hyper Potion, meaning bacon either doesn't have one or he's saving it for later. 3 down, 2 to go.
I was told he's easier in RS than in Emerald, because of Kingdra, among a few other things, but let's see--OGAWDMILOTIC
It's level 43, and to my horror, it goes first and uses Ice Beam on Haberdash, KOing her before I can plant Leech Seed. Not good. I tag to Crumpets, so he can at least get Confuse Ray off. He does, though Milotic still launches an Ice Beam, which crits, KOing him too. The very next turn, Milotic snaps out of it. Then I realize I'm stupid.
<Sacrama> lol mirror coat
2 of those and Milotic's gone. No Encore necessary. The last one's a lv. 42 Seaking, so to be safe, I have Dunce handle it. It attempts Horn Drill (which I knew it had, but forgot about) and it missed, thankfully. Sadly, Water Pulse confuses Dunce, so that might hurt. As I suspected, bacon saved his other Hyper Potion for Seaking, as Dunce is really smacking it hard with Earthquake (40% a pop), and fortunately not hitting himself once.
<@bacon> welp gg
<+DNA> gg
<+DNA> damn bulky waters
<@bacon> O u O
<@bacon> says the guy using Wobbuffet
<+DNA> this is true
<Sacrama> whoa bro don't get mad
<Sacrama> we don't need another Saltening
<@bacon> hahah
<@bacon> all right, your goodies. Rain Badge and TM03 Water Pulse.
<@bacon> your battling style was awesome. I got to see a little bit of everything!
<@bacon> you're almost there. soon we'll all be out of here.
<+DNA> is Pride really making everyone suffer this much?
<@bacon> yeah
<+DNA> okay next time I do a game I won't be dragging people into it unless I feel lik--
<+DNA> I'm sorry everyone
I learned something. Afterwards if you talk to bacon, he will actually say which Gym Badges you're missing. ChillBill, however, is oblivious. Still, I must carry this charade through to its end, so I will surf to Ever Grande City on the back of a Mighty Waterfalling Gyarados and end this chapter, because it's gone on long enough.
End of Chapter 10!DNA's Team So Far:
Ray lv. 41
Haberdash lv. 38
Dunce lv. 38
Crumpets lv. 37
Sacrama lv. 37
Footloose lv. 37
At the time this part was written, it was June 10th, the day of the Nintendo press conference at E3.
Among other things that no one really cares about, it was announced that Smash 3DS would be released in October, rather than the originally projected summer.
We may have another Saltening on our hands.